Saturday 10 March 2012

Overpriced Beachwear Adventure

Sometimes I feel that my own particular sense of style has resulted in me missing some of the more crucial fashion opportunities available on today's high street. Being as I am, both pretentious and stingy,  there are only a few outlets that can effectively cater to my needs.



This has left me with a slightly warped view of the high street, both in the availability of items present, and what they should cost. As I am very used to the two extremes of the shopping experience, ie getting specifically what you are looking for (the internet)  to rummaging through stuff that smells like cat pee and hoping for the best (charity shops). Subsequently I find traditional shops a slightly baffling episode. I've got a bit better over the last couple of years, and now quite enjoy high street shopping. It's nice to wear clothes that don't make me look like I should be pushing a shopping trolley full of plastic bags. Every so often however, I overstretch myself, and  attempt a shop that is far, far outside of my sphere of understanding. I resent these brands from a distance, but these resentments are primarily unfounded. Every so often I decide that these prejudices are foolish and I should face them head on and conquer them. It's not good to go through life holding such opinions with no experience to back them up.

There is one sub sect of the market for which I hold a particular hate. The Jack-Wills/Abercrombie and Fitch corner. They sell comfy looking clothes for £60 a pop. I don't understand why that is a fashion statement,  to look like you've spent less on your clothes than you actually have. Take Jack Wills jogging bottoms. Jogging bottoms were created to mop up your sweaty arse while you exercise. That is literally the entire reason for them existing and you're willing to fork out two nights out equivalent cash for the privilege of looking like you may have a sweaty arse. But not any more, because your magnificent jogging bottoms  have soaked up those bodily fluids like a motherfucking champ.



I feel like this based on almost no personal experience so off I popped to a shop that displays all of the qualities I have described above and more. Hollister.

I hate Hollister. This was the primary conclusion that I drew from my brief but highly impressionable experience with it. I don't understand it. Any of it. More than anything else,  it's the OPPOSITE of what you want from shopping. Here's my basic requirements for a shop:

Hollister does not fill ANY of these requirements. Here's what shopping in Hollister is like:




I think the idea was that you were meant to feel like you were in a cool house party. But also shopping. This is a combination that doesn't really mesh. After being accosted by shop assistants who were trying to be my friends, I blundered around looking for something, anything that I could relate to. The shop was set out much in the style of a labyrinth. I feared I may grow old and die there. Layout aside, I then decided to focus on the clothes. 

Nothing was apparently for sale. This made deciding whether or not to purchase something nigh on impossible. I'm assuming that Hollister caters exclusively for those who are financially independent, and don't have to worry about silly things like how many noughts are on the end of something before they buy it.



I got scared, and left.





In conclusion, I do hate Hollister for god reasons. And furthermore, I will hate it from a distance in future


1 comment:

  1. Yes Bobbie .... my sentiments exactly!

    ReplyDelete