tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69847272225400432042024-03-22T02:49:16.167+00:00ZOMG SO COOLUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-51864815511188830582013-02-07T21:46:00.002+00:002013-02-07T21:46:34.336+00:00SamI feel that this is a good time to talk about the recent changes in my life. One of the reasons that I have not been updating for a while, is because I have moved country. This involves a large amount of stress/meetings/ flights/having to go outdoors and meet people, all of which could not be done here. Also I discovered Modern Family and that took up a lot of time. Also, I'm lazy.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
However, shortly after arriving in my new Scandinavian residence, I came up with a good idea for a subject. But I thought I should spend a little more time familiarising myself with it before I began to write, so here it goes: </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;">SAM </span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I have moved to a city famous for its pastries, beautiful people and grizzly serial killer dramas, but one of the things it is also known for is it's bikes. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
People cycle here. People cycle to school, to the shops, to bars, to the supermarket day or night, summer or winter, rain or sun. More people bike or walk to work than drive. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When I first arrived here, I was not aware of it's biking heritage and was unceremoniously introduced to this fact through a 25 minute cycle through the city to the immigration office. I had never cycled on a road before, used hand signals while cycling or had been on a bike in 10 years. It was horrifying. </div>
<div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk-0O8APotSc3DUKw9k7bpDjT5ayxcvO5W4naJrnslr5nd8RMYpJYsKCEIxddBOXoU_jnI7Cob4p1_E5lwIjZHnIdCFikNvlqYQofphrMZ7-5EyZbI9DBjboCGkbz-5kF1yOdjcnyaLhJy/s1600/raw+terror.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="588" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk-0O8APotSc3DUKw9k7bpDjT5ayxcvO5W4naJrnslr5nd8RMYpJYsKCEIxddBOXoU_jnI7Cob4p1_E5lwIjZHnIdCFikNvlqYQofphrMZ7-5EyZbI9DBjboCGkbz-5kF1yOdjcnyaLhJy/s640/raw+terror.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
By the end of it though, I had found my confidence, and resolved to get a bike as soon as I returned for good two months later. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After an emotional farewell to my family and all I knew, I touched down and started settling into my new life and work. I did not get paid until the end of the month and prudently resolved to only buy a bicycle until I had received my first pay check. I was an adult. I could wait. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I cracked after 10 days.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJWGvxTdyYmPUNlAsj_7eAXmGuHtl_YBtfc6AY7V_cvQRM22SaFb2CprudEqZkrodPrGw4MGq4b9ySh4adtilo0bP5OKfv8OIsW3jnaTDahhZgGUdKISz5jHPf9ZVskdSRbI5U-JiX0nH/s1600/cant+take+it.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJWGvxTdyYmPUNlAsj_7eAXmGuHtl_YBtfc6AY7V_cvQRM22SaFb2CprudEqZkrodPrGw4MGq4b9ySh4adtilo0bP5OKfv8OIsW3jnaTDahhZgGUdKISz5jHPf9ZVskdSRbI5U-JiX0nH/s640/cant+take+it.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I needed a bike. I couldn't stand having to walk everywhere. It was hell. Trundling along on my peggy legs while herds of majestic wheeled gazelles raced past me every 30 seconds was hell. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I needed to get one now. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I went to a bicycle shop that had been recommended to me, however due to the catastrophic influx of other such students, they were completely out of bikes. It would be a week before they had any more. I could not wait that long. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I went to a place just round the corner. They spoke very little English and I spoke absosutley no Danish, so communication was tricky. I did however, catch the basics.</div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJeIwm8R4uM-aEVXIuOap907x_Mo6VStbGp07iF_wmMq-iT0FG8tNDwsRkWlcblB8k1MDwYwIY9w5ceD1-iOIq3nFZt-pV8xGofZXLKEC-M0uotcr74Y1svg_PPi4FzNRDsujqVa7-YwSj/s1600/cash.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJeIwm8R4uM-aEVXIuOap907x_Mo6VStbGp07iF_wmMq-iT0FG8tNDwsRkWlcblB8k1MDwYwIY9w5ceD1-iOIq3nFZt-pV8xGofZXLKEC-M0uotcr74Y1svg_PPi4FzNRDsujqVa7-YwSj/s400/cash.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHYkDWSrbnGAc0GKTHsWtwgcWUXZfWnEQJAQW43S8qFUIMCy32CqH29kjpMByhOgQhHfll9ODA7EimlR4K9LyTUlLg3nFgHGA8yl3V1570VqwmX7XzVPXcrq_Glk3Kl7tK9KshSlHQ58WB/s1600/no+refunds.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHYkDWSrbnGAc0GKTHsWtwgcWUXZfWnEQJAQW43S8qFUIMCy32CqH29kjpMByhOgQhHfll9ODA7EimlR4K9LyTUlLg3nFgHGA8yl3V1570VqwmX7XzVPXcrq_Glk3Kl7tK9KshSlHQ58WB/s400/no+refunds.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Normal people would say 'no'. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I decided to take a leap of faith however, now was definatley a time for being brave. I cycled away on a black Yosemite brand bike, which I named 'Sam'. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sam was a vicious bitch. </div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmM-M_fmWT9MtKlAgQ8c8GD-i43JNsCo93uGi4LLT4VIfA95aFGSZ6GyuwZMt33rxRiDqR2x0zyrjA6VzlGWIdUJlU6f_xq1AWWdAysChmIiRu3E1PfbJG0WvA0R7GWqytgXllFMV3z6K/s1600/vicuis+bike.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYmM-M_fmWT9MtKlAgQ8c8GD-i43JNsCo93uGi4LLT4VIfA95aFGSZ6GyuwZMt33rxRiDqR2x0zyrjA6VzlGWIdUJlU6f_xq1AWWdAysChmIiRu3E1PfbJG0WvA0R7GWqytgXllFMV3z6K/s400/vicuis+bike.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
The minute I got him, he started to fail. He is a three gear bike and the gears seemed to be tiered accordingly. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1) Normal flat city biking </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2) MOUNTAIN XXXTREME!!!<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
3) Would cause Bradley Wiggins to shit out his lower intestines if he ever attempted to move it more than 5m. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After two days, he got stuck on mountain xxxtreme. I'm now no longer sure if he is off mountain xxxtreme , or if I have just developed massively powerful thighs to compensate. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
While all of this was going on, I was beginning to understand that life in the bike lane was not quite as peachy as I'd envisioned. The people here are beautiful, and fashionable, and have been cycling their whole lives. My expectations rapidly shifted from this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6Cln5BtZ5ZrvHz4ItdBt_x3OKxKjiHR8cDkoQZJM_9-qZYGj3qQBvoJtn6tNGQyGqRs1Y6hk6J_GpDSLgXT-f1pM9rZAjVWqlOraYdX_YvFv8qvYH_t2JPgGhtKzsOLmvTNUl9fghE_LL/s1600/ellenpage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6Cln5BtZ5ZrvHz4ItdBt_x3OKxKjiHR8cDkoQZJM_9-qZYGj3qQBvoJtn6tNGQyGqRs1Y6hk6J_GpDSLgXT-f1pM9rZAjVWqlOraYdX_YvFv8qvYH_t2JPgGhtKzsOLmvTNUl9fghE_LL/s400/ellenpage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_z92U-O3r1N72ILXL8UdVjyyebuxXGjDTWFDDx-zyh3GEROZjQ8z1sfgUPDcAjArSXTMTfav_h2ArYY60BQZ44PZpjAx5F8etdGSMlYqhr66Aoz56PhkxoDJibO0nfxvwWR7BKgrEY_n2/s1600/dont+look.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_z92U-O3r1N72ILXL8UdVjyyebuxXGjDTWFDDx-zyh3GEROZjQ8z1sfgUPDcAjArSXTMTfav_h2ArYY60BQZ44PZpjAx5F8etdGSMlYqhr66Aoz56PhkxoDJibO0nfxvwWR7BKgrEY_n2/s400/dont+look.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It took six weeks before I had the cardiovascular capabilities to out-cycle 10 year olds and heavily pregnant women. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Shortly after this, something started to go awry with Sam's brakes. At this point, I nievely thought we could be friends, I thought that Sam would be a piece of machinery that only I could tame and therefore develop a special bond with. I had recently left a house which featured a kettle with 'particular' needs and we had got along just fine. Nobody who came to our house could make tea, but the residents and I had tamed the kettle like a wild stallion. Or lame donkey. Either way it needed special help. </div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVXtqhQ3Vj9f6ZifhXLBTCxymoqkIh_MMTlJsepwwDsp1DzXPaVJpYD6WGsv2qyU0l0bgGFvqVHsfKHScVKajb8B4qgVA1CZKGugiPJs_HVBzgLDnDPV1YlMJ9Qfu4U-a8ukNgqQPAmhyphenhyphen0/s1600/kettle.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="588" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVXtqhQ3Vj9f6ZifhXLBTCxymoqkIh_MMTlJsepwwDsp1DzXPaVJpYD6WGsv2qyU0l0bgGFvqVHsfKHScVKajb8B4qgVA1CZKGugiPJs_HVBzgLDnDPV1YlMJ9Qfu4U-a8ukNgqQPAmhyphenhyphen0/s640/kettle.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Not so with Sam. I was cycling home one day.......<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJBCFKvKK1JRdufb7aKd9nZ9JiwKMORvIWnoaLVcaKWHkFeVkSM0nuFSQtYMvgYSdpVHhK7aWWIN0HonzlXFTgJjLg_BOnxIei_vBjBHmsuhtVcxf0MAncaKcyGa6XayhORggqJ-_JyqnF/s1600/slow+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJBCFKvKK1JRdufb7aKd9nZ9JiwKMORvIWnoaLVcaKWHkFeVkSM0nuFSQtYMvgYSdpVHhK7aWWIN0HonzlXFTgJjLg_BOnxIei_vBjBHmsuhtVcxf0MAncaKcyGa6XayhORggqJ-_JyqnF/s640/slow+1.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_CkDi7Nkwul4PKR7A-OT2AMLK610-oDQ_zx0BZ91J7mtrXV0Lrf0BhNFIA3OF9VGGRrv7tHSpMh8qu1BccAjL15m6uRPsjn347RT4Pn3t3CaYUKaMd3NtiiUzO3KOWBph2DD_RLxfIG3b/s1600/slow+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_CkDi7Nkwul4PKR7A-OT2AMLK610-oDQ_zx0BZ91J7mtrXV0Lrf0BhNFIA3OF9VGGRrv7tHSpMh8qu1BccAjL15m6uRPsjn347RT4Pn3t3CaYUKaMd3NtiiUzO3KOWBph2DD_RLxfIG3b/s640/slow+2.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb0a6w7AEPcrDnIbLDUQA3iGhdx3eoGnn0qmTHSbsekpZ6NHJ7Gu_FlzHOhm3AdHvxtel__AZcTZ2UwCnSMTFiG19fCbW-EgMz95ZtXwo-W2VwmXsNBuN5sYZUm-qwOrd59CCFOr6J3F51/s1600/slow+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb0a6w7AEPcrDnIbLDUQA3iGhdx3eoGnn0qmTHSbsekpZ6NHJ7Gu_FlzHOhm3AdHvxtel__AZcTZ2UwCnSMTFiG19fCbW-EgMz95ZtXwo-W2VwmXsNBuN5sYZUm-qwOrd59CCFOr6J3F51/s640/slow+3.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The brakes weren't ineffective. They were non-existent. I was travelling in rush hour without any way of stopping.<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>As a side note/ afterschool special, I would say the one thing to take away from this whole experience is that if there is something wrong with your brakes, get them checked immediately If you don't, this will happen to you. </b></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I guess at this point, I can't have been going more that 15 mph, however when you have no control over you speed, not way off stopping and you're in heavy traffic, it feels like this: </div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqV5U8rQMPsRhQMh0uAVCWd6_Fx3ExTrnhtqQRzLU6_ZNO4qUcpxJNGDMuNpBIrT2v-KxSA7gnhCoB3Ymdbkky4LARfRr8eYjDlijFU-Ht_Wzu09nrI5umY-nfIa6jZJz0eVOGR9uM6WeL/s1600/speed_bloodhound.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqV5U8rQMPsRhQMh0uAVCWd6_Fx3ExTrnhtqQRzLU6_ZNO4qUcpxJNGDMuNpBIrT2v-KxSA7gnhCoB3Ymdbkky4LARfRr8eYjDlijFU-Ht_Wzu09nrI5umY-nfIa6jZJz0eVOGR9uM6WeL/s400/speed_bloodhound.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I managed a semi-controlled crash into some park bikes and shakily walked the rest of the way home. </div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiys7DhCAoKVMPH97KidqapeXmHrB9FNVgg4gXuvD0cqWM_zsZBs-nwrt7Ts_hnswuXdJ83tk7leYZtb-fGeZlvxo2VI6s9zlKWDoJZiZVEzbPeS5l5QpjkxnnTdcoFJ7VFebggT7iSGYGm/s1600/sad.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="336" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiys7DhCAoKVMPH97KidqapeXmHrB9FNVgg4gXuvD0cqWM_zsZBs-nwrt7Ts_hnswuXdJ83tk7leYZtb-fGeZlvxo2VI6s9zlKWDoJZiZVEzbPeS5l5QpjkxnnTdcoFJ7VFebggT7iSGYGm/s640/sad.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
After this, I decided to re-name Sam. Sam didn't suit him any more Bikes who brakes fail for no good reason are not called Sam. I had to think of a NEW name, something suitable, something that said 'no matter how much you try to love me, I am still going fuck you sideways.' </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The answer hit me like a thunderbolt. </div>
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWY9zcb47C2EEZ6gSZHncv9KvzxWPsic5-75rXW3k3wmGOPxQ2fCnU09v9bjM5wixmGUCf7ilNj9W_UUOlXkolfZsNWcK6LPNm0IPJeQoX06NFpmnc1YzrcQpFG9g2mnJxhl15j6lRamgI/s1600/Genius+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWY9zcb47C2EEZ6gSZHncv9KvzxWPsic5-75rXW3k3wmGOPxQ2fCnU09v9bjM5wixmGUCf7ilNj9W_UUOlXkolfZsNWcK6LPNm0IPJeQoX06NFpmnc1YzrcQpFG9g2mnJxhl15j6lRamgI/s640/Genius+2.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
Say hello to Joffrey.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxZAfLGPdM47bK8WOScXuc7R3AhoUNmLWhJpD5y8XjUvqT1QTF52T6DDz-AcPar7yotCthRODU5f1FD0jy_XFjocXHgflEC-lrnOZ1Hn3CpCjU_K_GGnV3S11fYG1_YWWjz4T1odI0cTRa/s1600/joffery.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="498" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxZAfLGPdM47bK8WOScXuc7R3AhoUNmLWhJpD5y8XjUvqT1QTF52T6DDz-AcPar7yotCthRODU5f1FD0jy_XFjocXHgflEC-lrnOZ1Hn3CpCjU_K_GGnV3S11fYG1_YWWjz4T1odI0cTRa/s640/joffery.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-85556587139890933672012-08-05T21:43:00.001+01:002012-08-05T21:43:42.771+01:00Olympic Success - Real life failureI have a large amount of shit that I need to do, however for the last nine days I have happily forgone the activities of sorting out my life/ seeing family and friends to spend approximately 18 hours a day reveling in the success of sport.<br />
<br />
I am in no way saying that this is a waste of time, but I definitely think that I need to lay off. My already slightly addictive personality has kicked into overdrive due to both the variety of viewing material available and the vast success that our team has enjoyed thus far.<br />
<br />
This has had a negative effect not only on my capacity to engage in social/organisational activities, but also in more basic tasks. Like washing/ eating regularly.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2PzJ8cWaOilmv3W85khoH19VWN-LDnQz1TJJk6MW3vnxXU-iySrc9I1-dGF34OUBf2bRz6RkXJtkg1YwNQQYsCIWzDICW9omiCiroJ9m2DwiODqERqkKlV8v58BjvQwkft7ZZ8rLtRM7R/s1600/olympics+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="372" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2PzJ8cWaOilmv3W85khoH19VWN-LDnQz1TJJk6MW3vnxXU-iySrc9I1-dGF34OUBf2bRz6RkXJtkg1YwNQQYsCIWzDICW9omiCiroJ9m2DwiODqERqkKlV8v58BjvQwkft7ZZ8rLtRM7R/s640/olympics+1.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">HOW I FEEL WHEN GB WINS GOLD </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSCx8h6CUyoSwpOQVhY3hIOyeJBeANusJLfrcfKE3a7yF_s-C1XwuEwIkmcD_Lg6HgBqOGR9hHTBwnLvGAxwsqUjFoyehyphenhyphen497sGXBYnJg6vCWjytxWPXm36pZOzadWAnz3UzU1pACMsyB/s1600/olympics+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="374" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSCx8h6CUyoSwpOQVhY3hIOyeJBeANusJLfrcfKE3a7yF_s-C1XwuEwIkmcD_Lg6HgBqOGR9hHTBwnLvGAxwsqUjFoyehyphenhyphen497sGXBYnJg6vCWjytxWPXm36pZOzadWAnz3UzU1pACMsyB/s640/olympics+2.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">HOW I LOOK WHEN GB WIN GOLD </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Long may it continue!!!!!! </div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-26999281772152947612012-06-14T21:16:00.001+01:002012-06-14T21:16:07.466+01:00English Dignity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Around this time last year, my classmates and I went on a field trip around the picturesque Swiss and Italian Alps. We observed mountains, glaciers, dams, ammonites and all manner of interesting geological sites. The only major downside to the whole trip was our transportation. The sun in central Europe is cruel even in early summer, and the minivan we spent the majority of each day in while we negotiated mountain passes high in the hills was a sweat box at any temperature over 20'C. The compounded heat on our pale and unprepared bodies was reminiscent of a scene from a Vietnamese POW camp.</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBz-qdIdEh7Z1iOgpE2pJmRyLhDt_w4S7TDFUKZDyttf1O8rtczf2H3Nc9x59pzhQ4YuNYio6FsZ1OZ8GKQwyPHFfxSrRZMW27Y_Z8r2HPGNOTpRdCwpWnbN0HSUyVUXqRPzV8ggAqLmJA/s1600/heat+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBz-qdIdEh7Z1iOgpE2pJmRyLhDt_w4S7TDFUKZDyttf1O8rtczf2H3Nc9x59pzhQ4YuNYio6FsZ1OZ8GKQwyPHFfxSrRZMW27Y_Z8r2HPGNOTpRdCwpWnbN0HSUyVUXqRPzV8ggAqLmJA/s640/heat+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The highlight of the entire trip was a two night stay in the magnificent resort of Serpiano, a five star luxury hotel nestled in the hills of southern Switzerland, near to the Swiss-Italian border. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img height="479" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/2f/78/41/a-daytime-restaurant.jpg&sa=X&ei=iQ25T77uE8_s0gWOjMCICA&ved=0CAoQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNE9n9U1XImjdJXnqlq7tyEkK9Wx2Q" width="640" />
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As a general rule on these sorts of trips, the expectation is that you will be staying in 15 a room sleeping pit where running water is a luxury, so this was a wonderful surprise. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8w-MXgFhOs2CHMrEtz9GeXFRMGUPz1aRT59eDT8KQq_nzG7KHOyV4lsbqAu5neRmjvSDCIhrulFsO0kUudQ_5HrFlMvN8OX_hAXowspALgUX2O4lFmk2n12YfODHDbHPICrMzRBcWnNE/s1600/heat+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz8w-MXgFhOs2CHMrEtz9GeXFRMGUPz1aRT59eDT8KQq_nzG7KHOyV4lsbqAu5neRmjvSDCIhrulFsO0kUudQ_5HrFlMvN8OX_hAXowspALgUX2O4lFmk2n12YfODHDbHPICrMzRBcWnNE/s640/heat+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
The highlight of the <i>hotel</i> was it's ample swimming and water based relaxation facilities. In particular, it's steam and sauna rooms. After four hours on a sweaty coach we donned some towels, lay back....and continued to sweat.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnf4c_fMLdPVPef21kNNQsCkk5TnSJsWjjftGkNgLWOVMbcgMmDDL3RACu-3onxFNmteqCs3VEkU6FgjXFAh1A1vgJC1lTDOrpH34K8o2QS_AM_qyTUOFXmjP7vHmYQLTc7AOEvnNCud9i/s1600/heat+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnf4c_fMLdPVPef21kNNQsCkk5TnSJsWjjftGkNgLWOVMbcgMmDDL3RACu-3onxFNmteqCs3VEkU6FgjXFAh1A1vgJC1lTDOrpH34K8o2QS_AM_qyTUOFXmjP7vHmYQLTc7AOEvnNCud9i/s640/heat+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
It was paradise. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
There was one aspect of the whole experience though that we found slightly jarring. In order to enjoy the facilities to their full extent, nakedness underneath towels was mandatory. This wasn't too much of an issue for our little group. The English get through events such as these by clinging to our towels for dear life and desperately pretending that nobody else is naked under theirs. This was all well and good, until a new force capable of causing massive awkwardness among our ranks made itself painfully apparent. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc6LK3gCi4NhJBs49OLPfLuQozietSwQhJT9j2mOClv3LFSdpGkvzIfMqIJ8xK5uEeG8IObkBmL6-OZ8RDVLVwhAP6UjzJAXB3WzkCQPsnM6Fh8n2HKcdNiufe3dZ2pxSzIBfQ7z7tW31u/s1600/heat+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="368" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc6LK3gCi4NhJBs49OLPfLuQozietSwQhJT9j2mOClv3LFSdpGkvzIfMqIJ8xK5uEeG8IObkBmL6-OZ8RDVLVwhAP6UjzJAXB3WzkCQPsnM6Fh8n2HKcdNiufe3dZ2pxSzIBfQ7z7tW31u/s640/heat+5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Naked Italian Men.<br />
<br />
<br />
Apparently the towel was one item of clothing to many, and letting it all fly was the way to go. They were completely unfased by their state of nakedness and, for the next couple of hours, we were subjected to an unrelenting display of wang.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<img height="355" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m257/empath69/Buzz-and-woody-Dicks-Dicks-everywhere.jpg&sa=X&ei=IEHaT4_gLIro8QOtmbH4AQ&ved=0CAoQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNHvRPXatGBIlPWObbj4N16VIkTI_g" width="640" />
<br />
<br />
Again, this was not too much of an issue, because we ourselves were not naked. We kept ourselves tightly wrapped in towels and scuttled to and from our respective changing rooms. There was one activity though, that could not be completed clothed. A dip in the plunge pool. The open area between the sauna and steam room had a rather handsome plunge pool and although we were all keen to go in visits to it had to be timed with military precision.<br />
<br />
After 30 minutes of sweating my guts out in the sauna, I decided that it was time to brave the pool. I checked to make sure the coast was clear and gingerly stepped from my sanctuary. I checked a final time, dropped the towel, and hopped up the steps of the pool to immerse myself in the icy water.<br />
<br />
It was a this precise moment, that a pack of 45 year Italian men descended on the sauna rooms. Naked as the sunrise and looking my way.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC63OjqER7Nc2mkHLQyiwDo0odW146tA8XPfKWTwBgELopfmhFXfRIFVrgWb2d0CEE9uGfVCtevUHYGsFxS8Aaz7I3eS05Wh_h4OrGpfRHNlh6kqDiPLAnPlcHfg2_quuttzFWr8nHHHUB/s1600/naked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="418" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC63OjqER7Nc2mkHLQyiwDo0odW146tA8XPfKWTwBgELopfmhFXfRIFVrgWb2d0CEE9uGfVCtevUHYGsFxS8Aaz7I3eS05Wh_h4OrGpfRHNlh6kqDiPLAnPlcHfg2_quuttzFWr8nHHHUB/s640/naked.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrO2CL_cMvpdoJWoziH_BwuFOQvNjjhTvVTDgqBUnWoC0rx2NJDHLJsAHmz42cWME90TkS26o82CKVHFN5SEN7Z9_wUnAwFpxcd_xu4rR8PmEyYS6qTIsYj9mdCEjLarOYPtvPZl0GMz7/s1600/heat+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilrO2CL_cMvpdoJWoziH_BwuFOQvNjjhTvVTDgqBUnWoC0rx2NJDHLJsAHmz42cWME90TkS26o82CKVHFN5SEN7Z9_wUnAwFpxcd_xu4rR8PmEyYS6qTIsYj9mdCEjLarOYPtvPZl0GMz7/s1600/heat+8.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The hell <i>they</i> were seeing my boobs.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKQN-28emNje_IakKW2H4gw9BU9horQvtAf_vj4NSpSvRn5rGgk0AiBONya-T1ehNrCQDwqSF5lem5Cp9FlzttSgJD3TeIhm1mB8ARzaz9gZGDTA1Brk9nNSN_ZaZ05dxx5ex5cNxGSnad/s1600/heat+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKQN-28emNje_IakKW2H4gw9BU9horQvtAf_vj4NSpSvRn5rGgk0AiBONya-T1ehNrCQDwqSF5lem5Cp9FlzttSgJD3TeIhm1mB8ARzaz9gZGDTA1Brk9nNSN_ZaZ05dxx5ex5cNxGSnad/s640/heat+6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqaR1IGWJpSwaNxvR-9UupDtj9nJdI6LkkLrQdG4sbsa2ZqIw4FliQ_dG-DYeSK3M4HwGd0chqj_q50-6IhmN_rx3CJL-atxZCIVSKuuwodaSs7vPAiKgEWW8rPHYA1HbnSVsO3HM_ZDmW/s1600/heat+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqaR1IGWJpSwaNxvR-9UupDtj9nJdI6LkkLrQdG4sbsa2ZqIw4FliQ_dG-DYeSK3M4HwGd0chqj_q50-6IhmN_rx3CJL-atxZCIVSKuuwodaSs7vPAiKgEWW8rPHYA1HbnSVsO3HM_ZDmW/s640/heat+7.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As I sat hunched in the 2C water, waiting for them to get out of sight so I could get out and return blood to my extremities, I had a thought. I had just voluntarily thrown myself into a vat of icy water (I really did, the urgency of my actions is in <i>no</i> way exaggerated) and was now sitting in it waiting for solitude......or death. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This is because I was raised English, and we are not naked. Ever. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I stand by my actions. </div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-67560768774871548182012-05-17T19:14:00.000+01:002012-05-17T19:14:11.111+01:00Tortoise MeWhen I was very young, I was <i>very</i> deaf. I had trouble understanding anything that was said to me and often ignored people. This confused me school and distressed my parents greatly. It did not bother me though, I was too deaf to understand what was going on.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvN-Hs0G-1Ra4ZU0Du-0ijSCFLlkg8thhyphenhyphenelnBNNEXz9HMTR7aA2XdqfgLxwOk605xBzgunXACrbyzmpzA6GXF1PPsr-y6uUlIrEbwjTDxWjBJScjje4m9J1GaQurqE71qLE4Jy1Q8JsaF/s1600/deaf+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvN-Hs0G-1Ra4ZU0Du-0ijSCFLlkg8thhyphenhyphenelnBNNEXz9HMTR7aA2XdqfgLxwOk605xBzgunXACrbyzmpzA6GXF1PPsr-y6uUlIrEbwjTDxWjBJScjje4m9J1GaQurqE71qLE4Jy1Q8JsaF/s1600/deaf+1.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It was like living in a world where everybody talks like they do on The Sims.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As it was so long ago, I can only remember a tiny amount about not being able to hear. The one memory that sticks out concerns a song we had to sing at school assembly. I'm guessing the purpose of the song was to instil the importance and value of friendship and communication in our young minds. The teacher sang it through a couple of times, and then we had to join in. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The lyrics of the song confused me slightly, but I was not about to start questioning authority. I was already getting in enough trouble because of my inability to follow basic instructions. I inhaled and began blasting out my rendition of a song entitled <i>Talk to Me</i>, at full volume. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6dilVbUfdT9MnAzm4uItM9ZXyr-KpArXKji9EPKDXaM2b3WJYiHa31DnktY7iJQZpzBRbOSjbhDsz6oK_rHRgP5LE2QQYxb6myjLXpJ8K6gN-VtrFBkfA9InATjyx5_sJBIYDuRkPO2ug/s1600/deaf+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6dilVbUfdT9MnAzm4uItM9ZXyr-KpArXKji9EPKDXaM2b3WJYiHa31DnktY7iJQZpzBRbOSjbhDsz6oK_rHRgP5LE2QQYxb6myjLXpJ8K6gN-VtrFBkfA9InATjyx5_sJBIYDuRkPO2ug/s640/deaf+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiglOTSQiGUYshcpJh6228QfVCPuuch3sD03msAy_dYl9z7ghvt6XDwlaaWNyNLaxU-6u0IclQs0cXfe5Bi_XE_IEhcFuPzKj6Uf7eav0Vi3jBFSfwz7My6PGeY_8jzaYM1kecN-dfmlpXi/s1600/deaf+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiglOTSQiGUYshcpJh6228QfVCPuuch3sD03msAy_dYl9z7ghvt6XDwlaaWNyNLaxU-6u0IclQs0cXfe5Bi_XE_IEhcFuPzKj6Uf7eav0Vi3jBFSfwz7My6PGeY_8jzaYM1kecN-dfmlpXi/s640/deaf+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqepoch2U6GymIDmAe5_s7YGkn9gnA3D-SJWnlahhu-rmU0GmIvQ5ViUyNi0_pIQL7ADsUt6h3kqX3iciJWkuFoL_oYqIi6f64w4KItYq216bSW3qt21CBaMM4KFA8k7rfzbb0PavQe2J/s1600/deaf+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqepoch2U6GymIDmAe5_s7YGkn9gnA3D-SJWnlahhu-rmU0GmIvQ5ViUyNi0_pIQL7ADsUt6h3kqX3iciJWkuFoL_oYqIi6f64w4KItYq216bSW3qt21CBaMM4KFA8k7rfzbb0PavQe2J/s640/deaf+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL4SGsbN7ySroW4KDR5Vl-O11y9kIMuW_tFpQWsJYITIvVXw3yRD3tdQ5Srajnooo6ROsWknZeA2S987sPu9sZQOLMc1LMa6FSX1L14OglwLvwvSNBVUU-LYwF2ZoA849mrxNbhyphenhyphen1UIsSX/s1600/deaf+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="386" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL4SGsbN7ySroW4KDR5Vl-O11y9kIMuW_tFpQWsJYITIvVXw3yRD3tdQ5Srajnooo6ROsWknZeA2S987sPu9sZQOLMc1LMa6FSX1L14OglwLvwvSNBVUU-LYwF2ZoA849mrxNbhyphenhyphen1UIsSX/s640/deaf+5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZXXPz04lXNguwBXRFnxmvA-We6LooORyjmgL8Kk1M5Auw1WswiXsO_6gWDywVDEzB0ZLkufqZtn8Zh9VtuEDeBdRBPMhRY0UuEg7sq3mfskYxQmA0JYi0mZk4kd0UhEkei2e6aw8wTCv5/s1600/deaf+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZXXPz04lXNguwBXRFnxmvA-We6LooORyjmgL8Kk1M5Auw1WswiXsO_6gWDywVDEzB0ZLkufqZtn8Zh9VtuEDeBdRBPMhRY0UuEg7sq3mfskYxQmA0JYi0mZk4kd0UhEkei2e6aw8wTCv5/s640/deaf+6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDc3-_JZOWa7m6xU_KHg4LaLpER0Z0T_XApYbGS64HUuxTmyIyn4eQga5CDa8F_fA4amZe9nfXYf1p7sXO6WnNbU6u7n-GDc04MmVEgJmkAVM16KGth_31UpV4Q2SSd4sCYNQQ_uwjaGr8/s1600/deaf+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDc3-_JZOWa7m6xU_KHg4LaLpER0Z0T_XApYbGS64HUuxTmyIyn4eQga5CDa8F_fA4amZe9nfXYf1p7sXO6WnNbU6u7n-GDc04MmVEgJmkAVM16KGth_31UpV4Q2SSd4sCYNQQ_uwjaGr8/s640/deaf+7.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2w3qITk5AQ2BApvk7p0JVQeBralUFhvWfM0088D-LcovL-qawBNe8wHRjJEfsXJJDoAnRVR7cQM2KkDzHXKGld5zPoP_UyXQF_4mYZtxs4Sjj-_HwlrpcjhPxc_GL0SuEk-gkvJUHGgZ-/s1600/deaf+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2w3qITk5AQ2BApvk7p0JVQeBralUFhvWfM0088D-LcovL-qawBNe8wHRjJEfsXJJDoAnRVR7cQM2KkDzHXKGld5zPoP_UyXQF_4mYZtxs4Sjj-_HwlrpcjhPxc_GL0SuEk-gkvJUHGgZ-/s640/deaf+8.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It wasn't my proudest moment. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
After this my parents decided to seek medial advice. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDkc2GVNAyz-6rC3IQUIylIacIfN4Dc28Rz2fHlNNMZxgviPysHwYvKiP51N5X2co5lxlzB2q75WmtKc_BlwtTXuP0HDFx6Kliq1ZU_uras7YRaGihcuIhw5pFLANE6iENOYDQV90y0G2c/s1600/deaf+7.5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDkc2GVNAyz-6rC3IQUIylIacIfN4Dc28Rz2fHlNNMZxgviPysHwYvKiP51N5X2co5lxlzB2q75WmtKc_BlwtTXuP0HDFx6Kliq1ZU_uras7YRaGihcuIhw5pFLANE6iENOYDQV90y0G2c/s640/deaf+7.5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Now I can hear. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOlKfSDE2tOXBRalXwZN2DZkTySST7OdTIvTqgb7-haOpDMw3X_1FDAhOOXGyP6e2sM9jvkg0RSZXqAHurO9CIarw7tntlisj_a61pLmCJFXJokyxA-r3zOVtfM8gLu-NWmjF44TdqwkLy/s1600/deaf+10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOlKfSDE2tOXBRalXwZN2DZkTySST7OdTIvTqgb7-haOpDMw3X_1FDAhOOXGyP6e2sM9jvkg0RSZXqAHurO9CIarw7tntlisj_a61pLmCJFXJokyxA-r3zOVtfM8gLu-NWmjF44TdqwkLy/s640/deaf+10.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">THE END</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-24140057621828601102012-05-16T17:15:00.002+01:002012-05-16T17:15:27.884+01:00Horse Porn<br />
<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
One fun and little known fact about me is that when I was in secondary school, I was very into drama. There is little about my life these days that would indicate this, but my level of commitment at the time was fierce. I spent hours and hours a week rehearsing, learning lines and practising stage entrances. These performances weren't just confined to my school stage either. I performed nationally at numerous locations, ranging from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to the Globe. I was involved in improvisation, classical theatre, Shakespearian masterpieces, comedies, abstract miming and plays that were first performed in ancient Greece.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I was quite the little Thespian. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When I look back on this period of my life, one play, out of the near fifty I was a part of stands starkly out. This play set the tone for the majority of productions I would be involved in later and, on reflection, is probably one of the most bizarre things I have ever been involved in. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
First, lets set the scene. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In year 9, I was thirteen years old. I had messy hair, was a foot shorter than I am now, and desperately needed braces. The last major school production had been the Wizard of Oz two years previous, in which I had been a Munchkin of the Lullaby League. The head of drama was not a fan of musicals, and the experience had left most people soured to the idea of doing one again. It was decided that we should do something new. Something......... <i>different</i>. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I was presented with a script for this: </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="http://a57.foxnews.com/images/418520/350/450/0_22_equus_poster.jpg" />
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Equus is a play about the reasons why a young man by the name of Allen has blinded horses at the stable where he works. The psychologist who interviews him slowly discovers that due to a lack of influence from the outside world, and some seriously confused ideas about sexuality, young Allen has created a religion with a horse at it's helm that he worships through highly charged semi-masturbatory self flagellation. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A year 9 production of Equus. You can't make this shit up. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Several of the older years were drafted in to play some of the more challenging roles. I was cast as the leads' mother, an overprotective religious crackpot who provides much of the ideology on which young Allen builds his sexy horse religion. With the cast prepared and a date set for performance, it was time to learn the lines. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
I'm not entirely sure what my parents thought when I skipped home with a copy of this in my hand. I imagine its's how Linda Blaire's parents felt upon first reading the script for <i>The Excorcist</i>. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
All doubts aside though, I was allowed to continue and spent my time after school watching a screaming topless guy spank himself with a whip and making wire horse heads. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My mother still says it's the best play we ever did. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-14637567262713849592012-04-11T23:13:00.001+01:002012-04-11T23:32:49.570+01:00Modern Music and The FutureI was thinking the other day about old people. I'm not too sure how I feel about the idea of getting old, it never looks like much fun. There is however, one particular facet which I am looking extremely forward to.<br />
<br />
One thing the elderly seem to particularly enjoy is listening to the music of their youth. It must evoke memories of a long past hey day when the world was young and anything is possible. A once familiar sound, long since forgotten could suddenly awake new life into the winter years of these fine individuals.<br />
<br />
This is all very well and good when the big hits are 'It's a long way to Tipperary' and 'We'll meet Again', but what about our generation? What combination of music and lyrics will bring us back from the brink of an endless grey reality?<br />
<br />
Will THIS be a common site in nursing homes and residential care centres across the U.K. by 2075???<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JNtbtET8EknOfJWcEqclrk_aFf15JK-bAuAYqgr30fb9mp5GltdF8Qh86zPUIjV2FtDCUNKXV8ko80Xs10WU9m3Gi4f9u89y6dOfiV0q1zlbbYtHzVixcoPf5uVqWH1nVlKdJ2nyeY3b/s1600/area+codes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8JNtbtET8EknOfJWcEqclrk_aFf15JK-bAuAYqgr30fb9mp5GltdF8Qh86zPUIjV2FtDCUNKXV8ko80Xs10WU9m3Gi4f9u89y6dOfiV0q1zlbbYtHzVixcoPf5uVqWH1nVlKdJ2nyeY3b/s400/area+codes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivu3h9SUsyTg5TZS_DxHfHG2yxHAoCQR9uiJbBDmumoxnfaCbYytrbxtEGjlBRQ9kkLuzKS2CgJWzFXC5AtaH1hvnyZQsd3nhyocGrAaQIKImdaCa6ZCDaoiBvdngQlJovG8Mfc6XjxWTj/s1600/lady+humps.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivu3h9SUsyTg5TZS_DxHfHG2yxHAoCQR9uiJbBDmumoxnfaCbYytrbxtEGjlBRQ9kkLuzKS2CgJWzFXC5AtaH1hvnyZQsd3nhyocGrAaQIKImdaCa6ZCDaoiBvdngQlJovG8Mfc6XjxWTj/s400/lady+humps.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6lwUpLemJ81R5hIvPzxm8IHmU2Cx3EFY-q5RkePxGXsPu3zaquRs7oZSD0Doi8uv5G4c3fAALAWodmnflagt2KODz9OVZEJZ0uxLVWcc8Cv41k959XpblnZkd8Vk6lfeJquhhtsxCb6ZN/s1600/move+bith.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6lwUpLemJ81R5hIvPzxm8IHmU2Cx3EFY-q5RkePxGXsPu3zaquRs7oZSD0Doi8uv5G4c3fAALAWodmnflagt2KODz9OVZEJZ0uxLVWcc8Cv41k959XpblnZkd8Vk6lfeJquhhtsxCb6ZN/s400/move+bith.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCILzBdfQU-EB61nUVhm5jTA8rADqcoFbNZ6-tTFQvbpyOP-UGoGrjMsyZgKM7Ing3uEpLWJOEw_QrvDBpGYrF0kYiry_7CvP8__LxD2OrSpvLF0RmkycOyj08nWCxQ3s9Bo7mdjuUPB86/s1600/window+walls.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCILzBdfQU-EB61nUVhm5jTA8rADqcoFbNZ6-tTFQvbpyOP-UGoGrjMsyZgKM7Ing3uEpLWJOEw_QrvDBpGYrF0kYiry_7CvP8__LxD2OrSpvLF0RmkycOyj08nWCxQ3s9Bo7mdjuUPB86/s400/window+walls.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Kv-3GzgT0z3zf-EUWW8YKHLCzzXWA5WBWzyvrvlbo4JA_LmRY88GJhyphenhyphenxdWWRZ9dbl4gvHJtRAb4uocxNn-ZMgMZ-drWO9IDUdSkMf3ISoN8Rl2Q1B66ObTfxxsAxoPE8l63L0SjwIfcp/s1600/hoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Kv-3GzgT0z3zf-EUWW8YKHLCzzXWA5WBWzyvrvlbo4JA_LmRY88GJhyphenhyphenxdWWRZ9dbl4gvHJtRAb4uocxNn-ZMgMZ-drWO9IDUdSkMf3ISoN8Rl2Q1B66ObTfxxsAxoPE8l63L0SjwIfcp/s400/hoes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLuE2nJZJT3s_RzaJEqsmt_CP17D_a-lUXyOqoLNRbACtkCyak2aUg_OAB3MaRppJP74d4TijFvXqSLPHSiBpzaJMpN6ijrhR0lLPZpDpGqlH7YKc09uX8hiQuEPlr6jCNob-15GzDLiIu/s1600/smack+that.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLuE2nJZJT3s_RzaJEqsmt_CP17D_a-lUXyOqoLNRbACtkCyak2aUg_OAB3MaRppJP74d4TijFvXqSLPHSiBpzaJMpN6ijrhR0lLPZpDpGqlH7YKc09uX8hiQuEPlr6jCNob-15GzDLiIu/s400/smack+that.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I SURE HOPE SO!!!!</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-15335657942367136842012-03-26T23:45:00.000+01:002012-03-27T18:40:20.423+01:00When I DanceWhen I dance....<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwow5VVHTBt8865uFR6YCRPIbrE6yUVxov9KAQoZoHDWc7Y4AaQvvt8HcDC8JB9is5BnE6Kc06AOcpslU07Y2galziJbGFN9zb6K9O3yejx0sipmQIUEtDP533nH7vLM562XVWTOk7b4Qi/s1600/dance+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwow5VVHTBt8865uFR6YCRPIbrE6yUVxov9KAQoZoHDWc7Y4AaQvvt8HcDC8JB9is5BnE6Kc06AOcpslU07Y2galziJbGFN9zb6K9O3yejx0sipmQIUEtDP533nH7vLM562XVWTOk7b4Qi/s400/dance+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5FI-KFsDGbngIez7jv18rr5gOQUT1n-Rru3dJgPARlvZh6ietrm7E-LsH68eZf7PEpjWS2HpMPxdGtllfMK_4lTE_6CsVjAoRlH8VDu0WMaAt8KuutM2Vo5ObUOF_aHe88R6GtY12CM7/s1600/dance+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5FI-KFsDGbngIez7jv18rr5gOQUT1n-Rru3dJgPARlvZh6ietrm7E-LsH68eZf7PEpjWS2HpMPxdGtllfMK_4lTE_6CsVjAoRlH8VDu0WMaAt8KuutM2Vo5ObUOF_aHe88R6GtY12CM7/s400/dance+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMP17GzVxEx8RMYV6hbXtUoh0FeMhF30fPPw6FKQb2F0lEMrUJiDJCEJiDpM8AaixEsMHQ8goPuY6dx2g6yDl_xF0u8QKLwMNk7juDjCNGGSD2UynAlXyj4lZ0UVDCuhFtsICKgVWTgM-0/s1600/dance+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMP17GzVxEx8RMYV6hbXtUoh0FeMhF30fPPw6FKQb2F0lEMrUJiDJCEJiDpM8AaixEsMHQ8goPuY6dx2g6yDl_xF0u8QKLwMNk7juDjCNGGSD2UynAlXyj4lZ0UVDCuhFtsICKgVWTgM-0/s400/dance+4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0OVzQpGdl5rRZExq_NaQJVurGEMD-ZZMl1lFmJi8khXHeEdOD9AqR8pUDIteI2zy3OW-hQrf_MfWEYBlqkyTP3W7KAU4bsRbbX3QjspUMnJvuLod4Ca2y5kKdPuIt4wbEkRaP4jYWz_Fr/s1600/dance+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0OVzQpGdl5rRZExq_NaQJVurGEMD-ZZMl1lFmJi8khXHeEdOD9AqR8pUDIteI2zy3OW-hQrf_MfWEYBlqkyTP3W7KAU4bsRbbX3QjspUMnJvuLod4Ca2y5kKdPuIt4wbEkRaP4jYWz_Fr/s400/dance+5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbJrnMCVYiwQ7T78VSHY1YI4z111DQz68yPdQHgHCMtXdSZBhSRGrEjJ5L19U_w5eBjGrSdqia5Hq6NaAJ8RuXb_39ImPfQF9IvAL4bpCR7mwxbdqTnmCibSzCU4bln2IWS9vg-XVBwEdI/s1600/dance+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbJrnMCVYiwQ7T78VSHY1YI4z111DQz68yPdQHgHCMtXdSZBhSRGrEjJ5L19U_w5eBjGrSdqia5Hq6NaAJ8RuXb_39ImPfQF9IvAL4bpCR7mwxbdqTnmCibSzCU4bln2IWS9vg-XVBwEdI/s400/dance+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijbjpYOgBQQilt5XpDA7dCY5QHuOWcRrV6bzHCRdEmV4UyCYyflTJeSCLMaFxeHhiMGBd7u2fb0fFqDJGt_97lLhaG2sPML5PkejusPzjDZwwuFivgTUrad6WNE2um53iLPtZjbYDk1vYo/s1600/dance+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijbjpYOgBQQilt5XpDA7dCY5QHuOWcRrV6bzHCRdEmV4UyCYyflTJeSCLMaFxeHhiMGBd7u2fb0fFqDJGt_97lLhaG2sPML5PkejusPzjDZwwuFivgTUrad6WNE2um53iLPtZjbYDk1vYo/s400/dance+6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZnuag45gMk9NAW5d4t3fLfSjAf6CKzRuXcZH0e5E_Lvdx6B1WcWOKV9JN-8jaDyUBqobHyU8GvySNXWK0upT9wERDSlBObJZxJkj7WPFh5LwycyqOFaLncJ1yQmf0-_w5SJLdsiOWiS8Z/s1600/dance+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZnuag45gMk9NAW5d4t3fLfSjAf6CKzRuXcZH0e5E_Lvdx6B1WcWOKV9JN-8jaDyUBqobHyU8GvySNXWK0upT9wERDSlBObJZxJkj7WPFh5LwycyqOFaLncJ1yQmf0-_w5SJLdsiOWiS8Z/s400/dance+7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It looks like I'm having a seizure in slow motion</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Its a far cry from the intended result</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHa3GtPZ_1OJ0JtL-Kx5dcIRXoZ5x-Rh1dPyseF8ewvwWirbpplsVl8FxiM_7qb_zQyd62PZ9RSzngji5zknj1trw_c2-_1Wj1sc4_-iJdoFDnAT8B1zIrCyfj03odqloKkiYmUYkuRoD6/s1600/beyonce-live-concert-pics-2009-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHa3GtPZ_1OJ0JtL-Kx5dcIRXoZ5x-Rh1dPyseF8ewvwWirbpplsVl8FxiM_7qb_zQyd62PZ9RSzngji5zknj1trw_c2-_1Wj1sc4_-iJdoFDnAT8B1zIrCyfj03odqloKkiYmUYkuRoD6/s640/beyonce-live-concert-pics-2009-3.jpg" width="416" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-81308356227778729622012-03-26T23:32:00.000+01:002012-03-27T18:40:20.469+01:00O2 Y U no luv me?I like to think of myself as a moderately social person. In my younger days you could often see me languishing about clubs in the early hours of the morning, surrounded by many a chum. My social activities at present are rather more tame, but get out and see people I do. When I don't feel like seeing people, I do what any respectable person would. Retreat to the sofa and watch TV until my eyes bleed.<br />
<br />
Sometimes however, there is an incongruity between what I want to do and what my friends feel like doing. I would like to do something, and they would like to do nothing. This is a period of high personal vulnerability. Bearing in mind I also have literally no initiative when it comes to organising my social activities and tend to just wait for people to contact me. It's at THIS precise moment, when I'm sitting along in my house, waiting for my phone to do something, that this then occurs.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzE7khmWAogMyDaWaoIPhxO8KnKkzg2atsuGd2ULI9Rx7Ajy4_QYivIit516mPc1vMZwnyrbuWDYT3ul7mnaNtV-nT4TD8uPXbAYIP7AWi90odldQ1hkFjlG64ZYU3_zepfxbwYhunowB3/s1600/alone+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzE7khmWAogMyDaWaoIPhxO8KnKkzg2atsuGd2ULI9Rx7Ajy4_QYivIit516mPc1vMZwnyrbuWDYT3ul7mnaNtV-nT4TD8uPXbAYIP7AWi90odldQ1hkFjlG64ZYU3_zepfxbwYhunowB3/s640/alone+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBUHXP0LLDJOUGgxLV7J3uDfPkzukPX-19RRN4bqJn78i6O-bxZW2rejSMJSvv3jujrKRErQ0_NN_NSdMuLC5Wk0acmTLdRZs4MLOgx3BY-bda2yrYTw_cNaSRy2ZJ3RaJF_fJbXw9YF5u/s1600/alone+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBUHXP0LLDJOUGgxLV7J3uDfPkzukPX-19RRN4bqJn78i6O-bxZW2rejSMJSvv3jujrKRErQ0_NN_NSdMuLC5Wk0acmTLdRZs4MLOgx3BY-bda2yrYTw_cNaSRy2ZJ3RaJF_fJbXw9YF5u/s640/alone+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiePhmjt4R2ebw8VMUzejSOzTZW1YKO9f4i0Aj2vpqt6Xo1QPibtuWkDTggHDfgwUOx3XGjGsJ8AhWaT8L2NqkIHHTVAnqa5d5GrspSPStpwB3K54QiK1nYWA1hQvalt3AiWj880FGNNr1a/s1600/alone+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiePhmjt4R2ebw8VMUzejSOzTZW1YKO9f4i0Aj2vpqt6Xo1QPibtuWkDTggHDfgwUOx3XGjGsJ8AhWaT8L2NqkIHHTVAnqa5d5GrspSPStpwB3K54QiK1nYWA1hQvalt3AiWj880FGNNr1a/s640/alone+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">A FRIEND!!!!!!!!</span></div>
<br />
<br />
I scuttle over to my phone, imagining all the fun I am going to have with my as yet unspecified friend.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYX5P7Tmg4GXaoeABIBb3DV0-_Twd8tX8zrCuJ8eBcWr4OrZAr0tI9BSRkYHUaTKQjZc-p3I4jyAj5f7aU-Fjzv3nMB1eZqFfqaOsTIWHhBCu_BHk3SLn5oKHKX7y2d87r2H08rKCHOCb4/s1600/food-drink-hospitality-stock-Cafe10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYX5P7Tmg4GXaoeABIBb3DV0-_Twd8tX8zrCuJ8eBcWr4OrZAr0tI9BSRkYHUaTKQjZc-p3I4jyAj5f7aU-Fjzv3nMB1eZqFfqaOsTIWHhBCu_BHk3SLn5oKHKX7y2d87r2H08rKCHOCb4/s400/food-drink-hospitality-stock-Cafe10.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Enjoy a salad</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MeCm9ymS_B5FN63W5rLUC7q7yX19BTykTq-L3gK9BCsSBeyCzmtShWezOzvIuDfVmBqAOtYN4Ia-_ZtwwTu5cmplaJzjbFAgZ9fUbm4lJDMaALk9b5C-EZ0QqGF1WTYT0amA0vCYzGWV/s1600/single-friends-watching-movies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6MeCm9ymS_B5FN63W5rLUC7q7yX19BTykTq-L3gK9BCsSBeyCzmtShWezOzvIuDfVmBqAOtYN4Ia-_ZtwwTu5cmplaJzjbFAgZ9fUbm4lJDMaALk9b5C-EZ0QqGF1WTYT0amA0vCYzGWV/s400/single-friends-watching-movies.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Watch a movie</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-4Gv6ILWG7t4cd31gY_peXzig1FVhOgDl42fz7CZe2rhWjDGnd36pB9L3mOUzRhC8OzFXFvqtsaiyZPVzt5sV7lSa7afIXhhHq6EykhsCNS1PBZaFEpkg5FOrC5WDFFEbLU_fLJUtyIK9/s1600/1288964359YkDsj8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-4Gv6ILWG7t4cd31gY_peXzig1FVhOgDl42fz7CZe2rhWjDGnd36pB9L3mOUzRhC8OzFXFvqtsaiyZPVzt5sV7lSa7afIXhhHq6EykhsCNS1PBZaFEpkg5FOrC5WDFFEbLU_fLJUtyIK9/s400/1288964359YkDsj8.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Partake in healthy, outdoor pursuits</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggwhMGXe0sLrfz5zs_EUmDCMmA5LKLHPWnFD8fqqmhREc4-ZBxHhH4y3EMLhmd33trSz1tNWs9XLPnkHaeoYJCwQq6CJrYUaGL4fIzmIE4XPtqsCbqrS50Kvan1lp04q1rmtWlPA3gORVM/s1600/group_of_young_friends_laughing_and_looking_at_paa325000039.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggwhMGXe0sLrfz5zs_EUmDCMmA5LKLHPWnFD8fqqmhREc4-ZBxHhH4y3EMLhmd33trSz1tNWs9XLPnkHaeoYJCwQq6CJrYUaGL4fIzmIE4XPtqsCbqrS50Kvan1lp04q1rmtWlPA3gORVM/s400/group_of_young_friends_laughing_and_looking_at_paa325000039.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Laugh at your friend's really old phone</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Then I realise who wants to talk to me.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj84k7A8oqO_Ev2L-apWG64Tyt0q4ihnrdm7tWGc5eXD1ut_RKOKdvUOVY0nB3U919D4pkz5QZRnj0l9K7nUyhFwi8fGL-Vh8JfGgPVqeJyBTe9fNYS5pAEHIPpIf607pX2A4vB3i_3lOmi/s1600/alone+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj84k7A8oqO_Ev2L-apWG64Tyt0q4ihnrdm7tWGc5eXD1ut_RKOKdvUOVY0nB3U919D4pkz5QZRnj0l9K7nUyhFwi8fGL-Vh8JfGgPVqeJyBTe9fNYS5pAEHIPpIf607pX2A4vB3i_3lOmi/s640/alone+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEU4UxIZruWTXzsPgUeh58rMhAS8n9arm78QseBNY6CpxFaslkVv8afM4udiymP2oAf4UPQHa4CjM0kpdsiHH4g8mUWkazmlBhyphenhyphenD1DqJQcXxyCN5pg9vE-CRSEaKDjrW8tfaChOXsv6pyk/s1600/alone+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEU4UxIZruWTXzsPgUeh58rMhAS8n9arm78QseBNY6CpxFaslkVv8afM4udiymP2oAf4UPQHa4CjM0kpdsiHH4g8mUWkazmlBhyphenhyphenD1DqJQcXxyCN5pg9vE-CRSEaKDjrW8tfaChOXsv6pyk/s640/alone+5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPVUnCDHikbA6J3pBELHgbZ0Hm_bLPC7lDJ_jLwv1K97U8Ms4lsWittLR9hpNAa0ZRW7Jpf4BotoVCX4hHMvE6DuU90sJV0pHloYe9l-rfiIXijhL8MWHPFBLHciEHxMzzN5vZ5Q1MQECe/s1600/foreveralone.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="594" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPVUnCDHikbA6J3pBELHgbZ0Hm_bLPC7lDJ_jLwv1K97U8Ms4lsWittLR9hpNAa0ZRW7Jpf4BotoVCX4hHMvE6DuU90sJV0pHloYe9l-rfiIXijhL8MWHPFBLHciEHxMzzN5vZ5Q1MQECe/s640/foreveralone.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I don't know HOW O2 knows how I'm feeling like this, but they always do. Because of the already sad feelings brewing inside me, the blow is is particularly crushing. The p<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">ièce de résistance occurs when the offending text is informing me that I am out of calling credit. It's like O2 is saying to me </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: large;">'Not only are you a loner, you're broke as fuck too. Have a nice day :D' </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">Motherfuckers. </span></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-1907938578381206592012-03-17T11:39:00.000+00:002012-03-17T13:06:13.859+00:00Musical TumoursThis may sound like a bizarre topic of conversation, but I swear it makes perfect sense and has nothing to do with real tumours. It could quite easily have been called 'Musical Fungal Infections' or 'Musical Tapeworms'.<br />
<br />
In order to properly explain what a musical tumour is, first the 'Scale of Music' needs to be discussed. The Scale of Music is a simple way of classifying popular song and is comprised of two extremes. At one end you have your high brow thinking man's music; James Blake, The Knife, Bjork, Postal Service, anything by Laurie Anderson. The sort of bands you quote at people when you're desperately trying to impress them.<br />
<br />
At the other you have your gratuitously cheesy bubblegum pop. The Venga Boys, Blue, The Glee Soundtrack. The sort of stuff you sing along to at weddings and when your doing housework. Stuff at this end is hardcore guilty pleasure, you love it, but that love is tinged with self loathing.<br />
<br />
In the middle lies the Twilight Zone, Top 40 bands which in no way are going to alter your perception of the Universe, but are a far cry from Gina G. Bands like Coldplay, Maroon 5 and the Arctic Monkeys. Inoffensive 'four chords and the truth' set-ups. It's within THIS zone that the musical tumour is born.<br />
<br />
A musical tumour is an artist, band, or even a song that you DESPERATELY don't want to like but eventually do. They grow on you against your will; like a tumour. My most recent encounter with this phenomenon at the hands of the ginger haired guitar swinger Ed Sheeran. When he first began gracing the airwaves of British popular radio stations I was all like:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMXvKS6E1Op2-1quxGFDezZhiu2EvyHO0bxkRLoPCbLkduvbO7s4te-OkYbY6WmEageI3VqdKkxFJEXUUixI2-vaIaVl_Art9wLpLN-p1tJdlFYS4AmD070mMLLWNJdAQMPcFXPxMStG2f/s1600/ed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="430" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMXvKS6E1Op2-1quxGFDezZhiu2EvyHO0bxkRLoPCbLkduvbO7s4te-OkYbY6WmEageI3VqdKkxFJEXUUixI2-vaIaVl_Art9wLpLN-p1tJdlFYS4AmD070mMLLWNJdAQMPcFXPxMStG2f/s640/ed.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Three Short Months Later...... <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNKRNKF6t6AquZduUYgZcugGnhpP8xw5k6f96VtVak8zFITUYOPSO0XLzrIjHnNgdHRClHDTj6frnNVH8xdmwoJvhl3_rAhuZKy99UgkHC95wmMYyV4SQonqhZxi_3EVtWqVX7IEfCdMde/s1600/ed+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNKRNKF6t6AquZduUYgZcugGnhpP8xw5k6f96VtVak8zFITUYOPSO0XLzrIjHnNgdHRClHDTj6frnNVH8xdmwoJvhl3_rAhuZKy99UgkHC95wmMYyV4SQonqhZxi_3EVtWqVX7IEfCdMde/s640/ed+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This pattern has repeated itself many times. Over the Summer I had to begrudgingly accept that I did like Coldplay, after a long period of solid scorn. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The most bitter pill to swallow was my emerging love of The Smiths. For years I had hated the Smiths, and I had not been quiet about it.You could almost define me as a person by my hatred of The Smiths. You know how some people are good listeners, or enjoy painting? I hated The Smiths. It was universal and all encompassing. It's what I did. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Not anymore......</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQg5KK-rHK1LzcF0xUcUHyX3Dkb6U6nyTATAN5kvlYv7NdLpLY9BMcpRSbaDCelGJb9k1D4TXY-5Tb7aQbYwxoR2h1oFq45Ytkx0zcbS6E5almVYaNIznTj5ivIC92U3M2AZdixdZUJf6/s1600/ed+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="521" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQg5KK-rHK1LzcF0xUcUHyX3Dkb6U6nyTATAN5kvlYv7NdLpLY9BMcpRSbaDCelGJb9k1D4TXY-5Tb7aQbYwxoR2h1oFq45Ytkx0zcbS6E5almVYaNIznTj5ivIC92U3M2AZdixdZUJf6/s640/ed+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;">It is a hell unlike any other. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-69427002140563730252012-03-10T23:31:00.000+00:002012-03-13T18:46:11.422+00:00Self Esteem vs. Christina Hendricks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT6ImScTA-NVvfgh0sJkrL-NelhUM8QjsoBT2HOVN_B_qkBwgTSWJdc85ROIcNy8axc-iNXwqfpSf0_sEFfPrai1K2f55APCZraAwJfuCtAqqMWj7cmpvivb30LXbT5FUhB8iRBQ7hURt6/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiT6ImScTA-NVvfgh0sJkrL-NelhUM8QjsoBT2HOVN_B_qkBwgTSWJdc85ROIcNy8axc-iNXwqfpSf0_sEFfPrai1K2f55APCZraAwJfuCtAqqMWj7cmpvivb30LXbT5FUhB8iRBQ7hURt6/s320/1.jpg" width="235" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA4qnat-Dwvl5pl8sj6DFj43b7zWGWSFRYU46jpaV6JFjvmZvBT2wMN2pd4zG9xugpNivrC4FSYpG3YQBVNFjPsVVtS-FUeWCGTpLSwE7winUlPiqutZb-Q6W0PW94Vma6vk0b9j-XM4Hm/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA4qnat-Dwvl5pl8sj6DFj43b7zWGWSFRYU46jpaV6JFjvmZvBT2wMN2pd4zG9xugpNivrC4FSYpG3YQBVNFjPsVVtS-FUeWCGTpLSwE7winUlPiqutZb-Q6W0PW94Vma6vk0b9j-XM4Hm/s320/2.jpg" width="244" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6kNpvKWTeTqQAbWBHvFmo5DGjCBH2lcYlD_mIsgily0MiGV4_Dq_1uo2SyHrhPDvlNor7A3NZDHnTCJjUITYBtJYQZe1G-WwQFNKclAw6Ft1gqttxgm3ro1V-QblXgRigjPkGCDK8VD12/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6kNpvKWTeTqQAbWBHvFmo5DGjCBH2lcYlD_mIsgily0MiGV4_Dq_1uo2SyHrhPDvlNor7A3NZDHnTCJjUITYBtJYQZe1G-WwQFNKclAw6Ft1gqttxgm3ro1V-QblXgRigjPkGCDK8VD12/s320/3.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkaS_fVffA8zzbfpR3T8nwedCcLC-8dhnP1wKmH5ifXvgsqBCgaxE8Teoa1KXP01EKCuk_b1Nfd5pxlzh01_Eql4wAbx04OmfH0vvnhegZqjWTzYUdWdE_ZHrT4V9lFSOujdY6o6vvy3k1/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkaS_fVffA8zzbfpR3T8nwedCcLC-8dhnP1wKmH5ifXvgsqBCgaxE8Teoa1KXP01EKCuk_b1Nfd5pxlzh01_Eql4wAbx04OmfH0vvnhegZqjWTzYUdWdE_ZHrT4V9lFSOujdY6o6vvy3k1/s320/4.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyKFidCKJ6SuRY4r51Pi1UFZeE-XUtVVffswl8AD9ullvEMT3Yrp3uTQCdxyD45tMyBKthYXGAAz2a6jf3mbLy9cUmdBUrDrKHq67MVJkmLyoJAQ6zunyH72EounBLm8FRNfInyrJIpmc/s1600/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzyKFidCKJ6SuRY4r51Pi1UFZeE-XUtVVffswl8AD9ullvEMT3Yrp3uTQCdxyD45tMyBKthYXGAAz2a6jf3mbLy9cUmdBUrDrKHq67MVJkmLyoJAQ6zunyH72EounBLm8FRNfInyrJIpmc/s320/5.jpg" width="236" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYUl8PPdx_-vQU1IFJc3lIQWaNb0ypbo7mGEuvj1VVbNf3bHLZ6UJ_TkOHZqyEyyM0SB_gbQbPmc7iOTus0ukjCFoWRIGY5j-SzEjxLqrVZJ_vPmHC5otwZdNefr6M-d_Xkt-WRZnDqbt/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYUl8PPdx_-vQU1IFJc3lIQWaNb0ypbo7mGEuvj1VVbNf3bHLZ6UJ_TkOHZqyEyyM0SB_gbQbPmc7iOTus0ukjCFoWRIGY5j-SzEjxLqrVZJ_vPmHC5otwZdNefr6M-d_Xkt-WRZnDqbt/s320/6.jpg" width="234" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-86939534660131692872012-03-10T21:07:00.001+00:002012-03-13T18:46:11.459+00:00Overpriced Beachwear AdventureSometimes I feel that my own particular sense of style has resulted in me missing some of the more crucial fashion opportunities available on today's high street. Being as I am, both pretentious and stingy, there are only a few outlets that can effectively cater to my needs.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXERhayBw37HKhkte6WUPlaeWigUFLE47T87EegBFapvUAUNQhTBPSLYHMZAE17lrQfbmWKkJs-SSE6jxW3gwEwtV_xzyalxKPgRlpH6uai6W_it0I4qRBWIgAsTyEBePAtUI1qDLFLOXK/s1600/shopping+choices.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXERhayBw37HKhkte6WUPlaeWigUFLE47T87EegBFapvUAUNQhTBPSLYHMZAE17lrQfbmWKkJs-SSE6jxW3gwEwtV_xzyalxKPgRlpH6uai6W_it0I4qRBWIgAsTyEBePAtUI1qDLFLOXK/s640/shopping+choices.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
This has left me with a slightly warped view of the high street, both in the availability of items present, and what they should cost. As I am very used to the two extremes of the shopping experience, ie getting specifically what you are looking for (the internet) to rummaging through stuff that smells like cat pee and hoping for the best (charity shops). Subsequently I find traditional shops a slightly baffling episode. I've got a bit better over the last couple of years, and now quite enjoy high street shopping. It's nice to wear clothes that don't make me look like I should be pushing a shopping trolley full of plastic bags. Every so often however, I overstretch myself, and attempt a shop that is far, far outside of my sphere of understanding. I resent these brands from a distance, but these resentments are primarily unfounded. Every so often I decide that these prejudices are foolish and I should face them head on and conquer them. It's not good to go through life holding such opinions with no experience to back them up.<br />
<br />
There is one sub sect of the market for which I hold a particular hate. The Jack-Wills/Abercrombie and Fitch corner. They sell comfy looking clothes for £60 a pop. I don't understand why that is a fashion statement, to look like you've spent <i>less</i> on your clothes than you actually have. Take Jack Wills jogging bottoms. Jogging bottoms were created to mop up your sweaty arse while you exercise. That is literally the entire reason for them existing and you're willing to fork out two nights out equivalent cash for the privilege of looking like you may have a sweaty arse. But not any more, because your magnificent jogging bottoms have soaked up those bodily fluids like a motherfucking champ.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXsdHmFFjV-qSAFREwvGOVAU3vtHBetF_BemTAyAlAeGjuDGz_yhUMlrX7sK3922MD_AniIzCTwC3yx0G3HYdK6bjLalmcICN3HJWSjbaiPc6utOnIomCOJLLhwlu2jqaFUL3IeZaFC4HY/s1600/thigh+sweat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXsdHmFFjV-qSAFREwvGOVAU3vtHBetF_BemTAyAlAeGjuDGz_yhUMlrX7sK3922MD_AniIzCTwC3yx0G3HYdK6bjLalmcICN3HJWSjbaiPc6utOnIomCOJLLhwlu2jqaFUL3IeZaFC4HY/s640/thigh+sweat.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I feel like this based on almost no personal experience so off I popped to a shop that displays all of the qualities I have described above and more. Hollister.<br />
<br />
I hate Hollister. This was the primary conclusion that I drew from my brief but highly impressionable experience with it. I don't understand it. Any of it. More than anything else, it's the OPPOSITE of what you want from shopping. Here's my basic requirements for a shop:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLHYytI6-F8Fg-zFmWbpYMnRZtrDyvzqTr2bap2ZQNEvx78HFpi3EXI3iaxuxVCHCDRvAmSaNPlPDEHl90A1CenQeNksjzQiy8e40oIXm_3mLE-iWy7lVfTVMbuEyyGIvjBdrv5aEg15c/s1600/shop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoLHYytI6-F8Fg-zFmWbpYMnRZtrDyvzqTr2bap2ZQNEvx78HFpi3EXI3iaxuxVCHCDRvAmSaNPlPDEHl90A1CenQeNksjzQiy8e40oIXm_3mLE-iWy7lVfTVMbuEyyGIvjBdrv5aEg15c/s640/shop.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Hollister does not fill ANY of these requirements. Here's what shopping in Hollister is like:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5eJW66kl9rjcqWF0uGqXxemB7qPI5V1kzRI9lG2fcLoVwWU5pYWUbI_shkjP6q9lon0kv2xJgIThMqqdZ7hhSTOdf-WoEYhkipvpefin1Cy5APcftHJXmhTClbU_7zW13sWANW3B0aSQm/s1600/what+is+this+place.dib" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5eJW66kl9rjcqWF0uGqXxemB7qPI5V1kzRI9lG2fcLoVwWU5pYWUbI_shkjP6q9lon0kv2xJgIThMqqdZ7hhSTOdf-WoEYhkipvpefin1Cy5APcftHJXmhTClbU_7zW13sWANW3B0aSQm/s640/what+is+this+place.dib" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTBT19QyCPxMDcc8BPa_ORcp5e9rTXAzykqkUa6ZUCfarJdH5yAXo0XygH9aiVYs-UZRJF1drnRGLSFLsjv43QWQshXx3wIiykpHgkd7LmO-lr0PNgmshaBGzkY6dgBWrgM3Oh6omtDHnR/s1600/so+pretty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTBT19QyCPxMDcc8BPa_ORcp5e9rTXAzykqkUa6ZUCfarJdH5yAXo0XygH9aiVYs-UZRJF1drnRGLSFLsjv43QWQshXx3wIiykpHgkd7LmO-lr0PNgmshaBGzkY6dgBWrgM3Oh6omtDHnR/s640/so+pretty.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy7QGL7ZR3C46nqXDJMfcrdL40sbtJJ4VST3l33SqUuoUPkWLQspvBaa2YFQqU4wH4SStaNv7nAhEufJgA7mqLM5KvHmZQK6oAq0WYoDlnX_RbsETJsBBIkvcj-zH8n88JAQq9IAFim9qF/s1600/spotlight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy7QGL7ZR3C46nqXDJMfcrdL40sbtJJ4VST3l33SqUuoUPkWLQspvBaa2YFQqU4wH4SStaNv7nAhEufJgA7mqLM5KvHmZQK6oAq0WYoDlnX_RbsETJsBBIkvcj-zH8n88JAQq9IAFim9qF/s640/spotlight.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I think the idea was that you were meant to feel like you were in a cool house party. But also shopping. This is a combination that doesn't really mesh. After being accosted by shop assistants who were trying to be my friends, I blundered around looking for something, anything that I could relate to. The shop was set out much in the style of a labyrinth. I feared I may grow old and die there. Layout aside, I then decided to focus on the clothes. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Nothing was apparently for sale. This made deciding whether or not to purchase something nigh on impossible. I'm assuming that Hollister caters exclusively for those who are financially independent, and don't have to worry about silly things like how many noughts are on the end of something before they buy it. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTy4bnLUW-EE3_p9NMQKHfggXGR0BgUXoP8p-dIbkAqTLrvR8NEc-m_FRW_a8YK1I4-aIugDq0UFsod61sOpHs5qMtPc5yL8BQdjiAhaQ0-fhIBNAHzByIceHtIpQg1j-yH26Q8_qKD3rB/s1600/expense.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTy4bnLUW-EE3_p9NMQKHfggXGR0BgUXoP8p-dIbkAqTLrvR8NEc-m_FRW_a8YK1I4-aIugDq0UFsod61sOpHs5qMtPc5yL8BQdjiAhaQ0-fhIBNAHzByIceHtIpQg1j-yH26Q8_qKD3rB/s640/expense.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I got scared, and left.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTu28TrXI5Pyl_UZapWbUolBM1kpAXQVosCAIboiThSk05rfVjxPRGD1LYX3ZJ2pPhfaWSyTcp86sEy0jP9RlJLTZludE5vBRXf3Xr2gXD-aFhklgLfIHquUjYsusgtAQRBH2auWlkL8pV/s1600/light+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTu28TrXI5Pyl_UZapWbUolBM1kpAXQVosCAIboiThSk05rfVjxPRGD1LYX3ZJ2pPhfaWSyTcp86sEy0jP9RlJLTZludE5vBRXf3Xr2gXD-aFhklgLfIHquUjYsusgtAQRBH2auWlkL8pV/s400/light+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyFKe9wHuYYewEvMONhsp5RViZwKflEbRyN3rADyvcF9cjd-fLm5qPKMx6Dfs2nr0xZkE6BcjABMzIBJP0VTvye3oD9deMn19AhRIGrOE-pL_6yB1tir4_GBzi9-m5dJi30TFhAYH8nfE_/s1600/light+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyFKe9wHuYYewEvMONhsp5RViZwKflEbRyN3rADyvcF9cjd-fLm5qPKMx6Dfs2nr0xZkE6BcjABMzIBJP0VTvye3oD9deMn19AhRIGrOE-pL_6yB1tir4_GBzi9-m5dJi30TFhAYH8nfE_/s400/light+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDM-gocTFYiTD36sGBxbSpPnYN1ESt6jSEOLNgU-bzjOtlpBYqOFuQJ5wY8G_9HbowGTh2G0BYVkpA66vPYQKgiOfHS9KCuXEi08RCg5zh7Oif9yqwLJ5jPO8VVMeJEON9pq8nSebP4EnY/s1600/light+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDM-gocTFYiTD36sGBxbSpPnYN1ESt6jSEOLNgU-bzjOtlpBYqOFuQJ5wY8G_9HbowGTh2G0BYVkpA66vPYQKgiOfHS9KCuXEi08RCg5zh7Oif9yqwLJ5jPO8VVMeJEON9pq8nSebP4EnY/s400/light+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
In conclusion, I do hate Hollister for god reasons. And furthermore, I will hate it from a distance in future<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZeQEHC5Y4xxloqBSZSlma8s9kI_19jG7wTXRQP9TsPtWdqXTeHhAxbmjc1hkRT9O3ejx5yAb6gCTssxhwGav89YERuFD1M74kQFgaFp68qLbu-4cw_tX4xuhG6BLzM7dRm1WmO3zmNJ3T/s1600/hollister.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZeQEHC5Y4xxloqBSZSlma8s9kI_19jG7wTXRQP9TsPtWdqXTeHhAxbmjc1hkRT9O3ejx5yAb6gCTssxhwGav89YERuFD1M74kQFgaFp68qLbu-4cw_tX4xuhG6BLzM7dRm1WmO3zmNJ3T/s640/hollister.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-86921456435363796752012-03-05T21:45:00.001+00:002012-03-05T21:45:13.353+00:00Why I Should Probably Learn To DriveThis is a post about the most annoying/terrifying things that have ever happened to me on trains. A lifetime of travel by railway has given me a wealth of anecdotes and opinions. Enjoy!!!<br />
<div>
<br />
1) One of the things I have frequently experienced during my time as National Rail's Bitch is the train grinding to a complete halt due to signal failings, cows, leaves, snow, or maybe even death eaters on the line. Who knows. Either way your not going anywhere fast.<br />
<br />
Life however moves on around you, and this can make you extremely resentful of anyone who is getting anywhere faster than you are. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrSnyjD4CCsPMIEREKJdwg59N9KNwpY6mDqsvrP-lt_a7ykAoR8gSC3C21yTYM3x_xZZWr9NoCH4kUAkXuyanosvarOpvFNeAKyU7ZpmiPanNdBXHb1CUvAz35wz2Hbj2vcIIxz9hTAue/s1600/train+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSrSnyjD4CCsPMIEREKJdwg59N9KNwpY6mDqsvrP-lt_a7ykAoR8gSC3C21yTYM3x_xZZWr9NoCH4kUAkXuyanosvarOpvFNeAKyU7ZpmiPanNdBXHb1CUvAz35wz2Hbj2vcIIxz9hTAue/s640/train+0.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdbQaM0yXnMoBpVY9Inhbc9xfN7MWTH9y0_XGxhYUnv2vbuWm1JoZqoRxC0ICdCevHW3spkx8sfN1LCB6aR55KraTxBStBJu-MNxLB-AXx3lbi1jTLk1o8NzOEnw_eDlRjVh1txRw7_7wy/s1600/train+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdbQaM0yXnMoBpVY9Inhbc9xfN7MWTH9y0_XGxhYUnv2vbuWm1JoZqoRxC0ICdCevHW3spkx8sfN1LCB6aR55KraTxBStBJu-MNxLB-AXx3lbi1jTLk1o8NzOEnw_eDlRjVh1txRw7_7wy/s640/train+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIaaOYtkYBPd22mQSdemvpJ2sEtTJy3usDmVwkIvv4lnKg9ZvzRqvFR5tQu25ftz287-4wuJynVkAZmypTaE8tjlK2LK0OhnFSoNRskByHJ-nXbrSLzVtIVjsuaWdcwhOclGHE1kQ9BTPq/s1600/train+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIaaOYtkYBPd22mQSdemvpJ2sEtTJy3usDmVwkIvv4lnKg9ZvzRqvFR5tQu25ftz287-4wuJynVkAZmypTaE8tjlK2LK0OhnFSoNRskByHJ-nXbrSLzVtIVjsuaWdcwhOclGHE1kQ9BTPq/s640/train+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsfi1FdK_o2rLGJKYcYRNAGXu98NSEnA8IIA1NckJnc21D2dAacx12ipAS32EvcmTFocy6gGXDp6PIQtVwWzvysfQE55bDBO-Zm_FEDg1YRckZ9p9qdl9o9EdvUZ9Cece03oSOgirdfult/s1600/train+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsfi1FdK_o2rLGJKYcYRNAGXu98NSEnA8IIA1NckJnc21D2dAacx12ipAS32EvcmTFocy6gGXDp6PIQtVwWzvysfQE55bDBO-Zm_FEDg1YRckZ9p9qdl9o9EdvUZ9Cece03oSOgirdfult/s640/train+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgawV3zhdUnqEauXHhrawtX6mxAcYLoTL05yi7SQVIrAysrpQDClprkVeo6JvFgmGYFvJAzGzg70h2t5W96D8fWvIqnF-rwvF_t7Jzi-XyLtV5OTcGtcHWSK85mdxDa_8r4ItNvIirJNR3o/s1600/train+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="454" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgawV3zhdUnqEauXHhrawtX6mxAcYLoTL05yi7SQVIrAysrpQDClprkVeo6JvFgmGYFvJAzGzg70h2t5W96D8fWvIqnF-rwvF_t7Jzi-XyLtV5OTcGtcHWSK85mdxDa_8r4ItNvIirJNR3o/s640/train+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
2) Missing Trains </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ziChjj7nXJp3_YGmo6NitMBvYu7GnA4q6vkG4WVBxkQIY065DkbV4DiHoEEQKw8OJ-V6iwwu9zxi0DsSB1u0V3ixz6VoorvddYfwMC-K4al81nWxi2KEomqQwiW4oXsUtn9xRAC9z-9q/s1600/trains.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="570" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3ziChjj7nXJp3_YGmo6NitMBvYu7GnA4q6vkG4WVBxkQIY065DkbV4DiHoEEQKw8OJ-V6iwwu9zxi0DsSB1u0V3ixz6VoorvddYfwMC-K4al81nWxi2KEomqQwiW4oXsUtn9xRAC9z-9q/s640/trains.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZbNHWHNNwOfq3q96H5M_PNAMdEtbolLTzeyQWGqbCGqHufkmJ_34IwAN8-ov-_QP4kjn5e08jAAis2Fe7yKGiLEEYLUTOQL0XkNqQkuXAsgGbWE3sOZkM5ToniRgjnYiaIimnojuT35or/s1600/miss+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="476" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZbNHWHNNwOfq3q96H5M_PNAMdEtbolLTzeyQWGqbCGqHufkmJ_34IwAN8-ov-_QP4kjn5e08jAAis2Fe7yKGiLEEYLUTOQL0XkNqQkuXAsgGbWE3sOZkM5ToniRgjnYiaIimnojuT35or/s640/miss+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixMefiPUUzHLIs9VyyBj9v9fTIkslyskk7h_feOfhN0Y-8KOxYDrKPCt7-v7IcJ9rPj8EBcPz6Gj-Tx1UHy21LIj0acxCVr-HkYVLs5b-owb4pLhKUl6RfnRbbPWdrMMNO7wBK2_l341ML/s1600/miss+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixMefiPUUzHLIs9VyyBj9v9fTIkslyskk7h_feOfhN0Y-8KOxYDrKPCt7-v7IcJ9rPj8EBcPz6Gj-Tx1UHy21LIj0acxCVr-HkYVLs5b-owb4pLhKUl6RfnRbbPWdrMMNO7wBK2_l341ML/s640/miss+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlQylEV0fs3FwigJFZpcmOyfJxsMdJCPY8iOpFykXHYKurGP3TGgU7FFhZjG3BuOfKqXELDDfsEidMgr-Nkz-hYeNVvZnDZAHQBoICJXtXdHGsK88oXwKmTXWTCQwrqshfppbhJ6cWrHEA/s1600/miss+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlQylEV0fs3FwigJFZpcmOyfJxsMdJCPY8iOpFykXHYKurGP3TGgU7FFhZjG3BuOfKqXELDDfsEidMgr-Nkz-hYeNVvZnDZAHQBoICJXtXdHGsK88oXwKmTXWTCQwrqshfppbhJ6cWrHEA/s640/miss+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJm6QvDW74U0_EjtIumrma_OR_Yq3HIi12oHYBkAPieLrzG9KO7gqkXJv6iGNAytO2mHEdJWM9GZd_6nMWGWWdYM7-Du4ARmzGIo1wWkmUDUClhBcEbwdiMP5_ZgC0dODUozIGag50rhMn/s1600/miss+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJm6QvDW74U0_EjtIumrma_OR_Yq3HIi12oHYBkAPieLrzG9KO7gqkXJv6iGNAytO2mHEdJWM9GZd_6nMWGWWdYM7-Du4ARmzGIo1wWkmUDUClhBcEbwdiMP5_ZgC0dODUozIGag50rhMn/s640/miss+4.jpg" width="638" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGQO3e59ChWYDBVZXKkiyyzGMe-513JNTSVLT8fAkROnHtoo54MBopO_hqMS4hbuUO2FBP7WV_NhN54a8iU2FCaf_ji4qy9ATG2Ha4LpZFYMtKKkgd6ouhwEL2lodEKoFfOXPt22oMngZO/s1600/miss+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGQO3e59ChWYDBVZXKkiyyzGMe-513JNTSVLT8fAkROnHtoo54MBopO_hqMS4hbuUO2FBP7WV_NhN54a8iU2FCaf_ji4qy9ATG2Ha4LpZFYMtKKkgd6ouhwEL2lodEKoFfOXPt22oMngZO/s640/miss+5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqW5Yf2TvnrX6pC3-CP4qJmn6vRFG763awGzSYfgt4pZkqxG21RTyo8zUOHlVBd1vdH-rQH-Zb2bBmQsqivO1Gha0nInHYdrUsPIWb4-OEFlfSL4naJxhsteWZx5xTmWaUIVIcBCskThMr/s1600/miss+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqW5Yf2TvnrX6pC3-CP4qJmn6vRFG763awGzSYfgt4pZkqxG21RTyo8zUOHlVBd1vdH-rQH-Zb2bBmQsqivO1Gha0nInHYdrUsPIWb4-OEFlfSL4naJxhsteWZx5xTmWaUIVIcBCskThMr/s640/miss+8.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWngclkPx7FbKfwnhx7XrNemcHxTebIw2wvlC088pyZe-BmbQC3gazMT1UxxhyDXtgykRiv40-aLqUfuJ2Lg6VMt9QHk70S3ny1P0ERy4nzXXPLeiQ2n8Isa2mbylPipxbaWZ_IHbX7-9U/s1600/miss+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWngclkPx7FbKfwnhx7XrNemcHxTebIw2wvlC088pyZe-BmbQC3gazMT1UxxhyDXtgykRiv40-aLqUfuJ2Lg6VMt9QHk70S3ny1P0ERy4nzXXPLeiQ2n8Isa2mbylPipxbaWZ_IHbX7-9U/s640/miss+7.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmgegxVgghiL6fms57KP5re_Prh29BU-I3KC7-4fP5K95arT57qoCGvc16OJbSVjxMM92lUUE-RlskSQsoy8AFKrpFrvsRDfDKV7obMJ2B67g6E7RiNaVyJ3tdkV2SCNz_yzkaIdLj-ND/s1600/miss+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="342" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBmgegxVgghiL6fms57KP5re_Prh29BU-I3KC7-4fP5K95arT57qoCGvc16OJbSVjxMM92lUUE-RlskSQsoy8AFKrpFrvsRDfDKV7obMJ2B67g6E7RiNaVyJ3tdkV2SCNz_yzkaIdLj-ND/s640/miss+6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg83rwsGYwrkQGpWjuytkGGwHfNYa9fRqEZUVSthCu-cnVPKNS-YNW7DHCEKzsFRbidT5JBoxiG0pp4uUzLgR5eSO6ZYyzQ8Qkez92ktskDOt5sGlS6rBfEKFOeGfMsFtB6Rn5VVcuQKWe8/s1600/miss+9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg83rwsGYwrkQGpWjuytkGGwHfNYa9fRqEZUVSthCu-cnVPKNS-YNW7DHCEKzsFRbidT5JBoxiG0pp4uUzLgR5eSO6ZYyzQ8Qkez92ktskDOt5sGlS6rBfEKFOeGfMsFtB6Rn5VVcuQKWe8/s640/miss+9.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The hardest part is pretending that you didn't really want that train anyway.</div>
<div>
<br />
3) The Time I thought the end of my days had come.<br />
<br />
The other two scenarios in this post are fairly gross exaggerations of fairly mundane events. This however is probably the most faithful recounting of an episode in my life that I will ever tell.<br />
<br />
First: Lets set the scene.<br />
<br />
I was in a very overcrowded train on the underground Victoria line heading towards St. Pancras station. I was travelling back up to university after the Christmas holidays, and an overloading of thick woolly jumpers and DVDs meant that my bag weighed about 11 stone, also I may have been hungover. I don't normally like travelling on the underground, and this was exacerbated by the fact that it was a Sunday and most of the other train lines were down for repairs. I was wedged in place by the shear force of everyone pressing against me. I probably could have lifted my feet of the floor and remained upright.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXH5byK06P3SvIbOMfkxNbIoZkfgf9CsRje3apaRnzNNyp0R2L6TUlIAvwjiyw4-9jUaZXZsuaAuErsBCMG7BnWHc5Pia5Thc2kOlSh97Q0kOHn4N7ET579SkrcojpByA-jmBkSrDc8FMR/s1600/die+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXH5byK06P3SvIbOMfkxNbIoZkfgf9CsRje3apaRnzNNyp0R2L6TUlIAvwjiyw4-9jUaZXZsuaAuErsBCMG7BnWHc5Pia5Thc2kOlSh97Q0kOHn4N7ET579SkrcojpByA-jmBkSrDc8FMR/s640/die+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Bearing all this in mind: the train then stopped in the middle of the tunnel and the lights went out<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixy3GWLb4biES6bd3vGBmQYm0HKqc9x9KVX6b4-QkyiU9QQaWe6xW4A5MVSfe-IGnBs8N-lblRpYt-gnsB9gtqbOBRtTeeM8Ks61xr_EiTW0Wr7SGDa8cBFAOdWa62i3ONJ5Fi9SGuIs57/s1600/die+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixy3GWLb4biES6bd3vGBmQYm0HKqc9x9KVX6b4-QkyiU9QQaWe6xW4A5MVSfe-IGnBs8N-lblRpYt-gnsB9gtqbOBRtTeeM8Ks61xr_EiTW0Wr7SGDa8cBFAOdWa62i3ONJ5Fi9SGuIs57/s640/die+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd1mELh605TA48YaeHdBFcl5d3vQONUq9R9lpBKIItVBch4qNRAKNsXcVjWSl3lTlIB0JKBVlGp1RgE8KWX2WlhyZR2Z5e6sCAXsPMu8TBBAaOlyA3nDmFPa-AuXyVJE_i_BgNet4JgkQz/s1600/die+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd1mELh605TA48YaeHdBFcl5d3vQONUq9R9lpBKIItVBch4qNRAKNsXcVjWSl3lTlIB0JKBVlGp1RgE8KWX2WlhyZR2Z5e6sCAXsPMu8TBBAaOlyA3nDmFPa-AuXyVJE_i_BgNet4JgkQz/s640/die+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji2NJQPIGQW8grBv29n3k90lkJMEuTVouR8ULDNEg-nSgm7sDD9ES3Kgwf26nEiXGuxsqz8oq5wqbfPTugWUE0B-hrgJlD-7asjg4C704qF_bz3EyzfbP4HiAh5HR6yfMvQzBNQ-zR3rDP/s1600/die+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji2NJQPIGQW8grBv29n3k90lkJMEuTVouR8ULDNEg-nSgm7sDD9ES3Kgwf26nEiXGuxsqz8oq5wqbfPTugWUE0B-hrgJlD-7asjg4C704qF_bz3EyzfbP4HiAh5HR6yfMvQzBNQ-zR3rDP/s640/die+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixS4i4tc44X6y-O88kmygm-cOmX35PhYzN1vlJrtqfEgXN_QSTQQDKhyphenhyphensLsw483KLqhyA7c3BOi1tRkQ84Uuye9dLOvPLqU9eITJF2h-4MuOpg0iCydwCndBhg0rZFJModE0YMd2DzUz17/s1600/die+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixS4i4tc44X6y-O88kmygm-cOmX35PhYzN1vlJrtqfEgXN_QSTQQDKhyphenhyphensLsw483KLqhyA7c3BOi1tRkQ84Uuye9dLOvPLqU9eITJF2h-4MuOpg0iCydwCndBhg0rZFJModE0YMd2DzUz17/s640/die+5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
All things considered, I feel I handled the situation remarkably well. I stood there patiently, waiting for the fireball I knew was about to engulf me. It was my destiny to die here wedged between groups of tourists and trenchcoat masturbators. The other people on the coach were clearly feeling the same; we exchanged a nervous giggle as a group. It is important to note that you are more likely to witness man colonising Mars than you are people acnologing each other on the London underground. I more sure than ever that I was going to die.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And then the lights came back on.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKls3iNmyx3DuTIu7U08iEzYETKKK8C5WKqso1biblMRhrhyphenhyphenR7QqSLOqIT4gAfwfMvlPz18M8BYsHjZHVhN7AOsGnD17oUVbacqxrGZAnWuqRiPMHtS1nVjN6WZc_BDsn1x9mrRsVlVzA/s1600/die+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOKls3iNmyx3DuTIu7U08iEzYETKKK8C5WKqso1biblMRhrhyphenhyphenR7QqSLOqIT4gAfwfMvlPz18M8BYsHjZHVhN7AOsGnD17oUVbacqxrGZAnWuqRiPMHtS1nVjN6WZc_BDsn1x9mrRsVlVzA/s640/die+6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I had felt better than that before I can assure you. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
THE END </div>
<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-4405764170443401082012-03-02T18:38:00.000+00:002012-03-02T18:38:09.400+00:00The Pros and Cons of Surviving the Zombie ApocalypseThis might seem like a no brainer (excuse the pun). Of course it's better to survive the zombie apocalypse. Choose Life. However on closer inspection, a number of arguments can arise which casts shades of grey upon this apparently monochrome issue.<br />
<br />
I will present a list of positives and negatives of life after the zombie apocalypse, which will hopefully serve as a useful guide for consideration, should the need ever arise.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Pro: You get to play with guns</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV1diLXxOBPDezHk1QBGvpZdbWJLcdEdWDevw5qNlXrTEFZ6LjnYx3bBO2HuviQy7DyKiew8rJ9d1g4xAhhMcDnRBCPMxi3ut4wajneqvFK643U-d7Sn-E1VvWnYRAHzJfTrQ53f_GJ2xJ/s1600/pro+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV1diLXxOBPDezHk1QBGvpZdbWJLcdEdWDevw5qNlXrTEFZ6LjnYx3bBO2HuviQy7DyKiew8rJ9d1g4xAhhMcDnRBCPMxi3ut4wajneqvFK643U-d7Sn-E1VvWnYRAHzJfTrQ53f_GJ2xJ/s640/pro+1.jpg" width="600" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Con: EVERYBODY gets to play with guns</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNTOUwif_MXQRBXBS6UiexCdMLhk9MiU9td35z3OBdW8jTAqUPNW7wpA7BwJz5tSiTLG5JxV2VMXyEjDhxI6F2mDshgPAa6QlHIYghCbIq4vooXMtkMyLZvt_kuGLWZLSBVZGbqRmVtMCJ/s1600/con+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNTOUwif_MXQRBXBS6UiexCdMLhk9MiU9td35z3OBdW8jTAqUPNW7wpA7BwJz5tSiTLG5JxV2VMXyEjDhxI6F2mDshgPAa6QlHIYghCbIq4vooXMtkMyLZvt_kuGLWZLSBVZGbqRmVtMCJ/s640/con+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Pro: The requirement to shower or look after yourself will be obsolete</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTclsAmSVaecD3WwGavLaLwGCM6IhCQNdbgsSN52kQRyALDYVXnANLYf3Y_fdjsZBqdE2lNUtWP4nNjhchz1U14ucHJvIQ8afXEzs58KDm7bHvIznfubk2tI-lbFPu6FzSLFxadJXT-TYw/s1600/pro+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTclsAmSVaecD3WwGavLaLwGCM6IhCQNdbgsSN52kQRyALDYVXnANLYf3Y_fdjsZBqdE2lNUtWP4nNjhchz1U14ucHJvIQ8afXEzs58KDm7bHvIznfubk2tI-lbFPu6FzSLFxadJXT-TYw/s400/pro+2.jpg" width="395" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Con: You will live in a world of ugly, smelly people </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Ww4zMtiBXYZw1piL5gaN7kPqXDJx8o4hC6hyvpW1MkomaE0RySvPFdb0eC8TmuAMVv_XA27GTPcsWz2a1ZjaHORwziv65uxf-GMCPDa-8m-JcJE9iGU1Cs9ql7vsyeRLmGvXZF7UKPE2/s1600/con+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0Ww4zMtiBXYZw1piL5gaN7kPqXDJx8o4hC6hyvpW1MkomaE0RySvPFdb0eC8TmuAMVv_XA27GTPcsWz2a1ZjaHORwziv65uxf-GMCPDa-8m-JcJE9iGU1Cs9ql7vsyeRLmGvXZF7UKPE2/s640/con+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Pro: This is a chance to build a new Society</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilEs3PulLr_WEoGLpEZCc_1-CCufMaO2I8hDgNLJwECt5av32etAhb3As87Gtj6aWVIUe4DexqGx4yPvJ97DiDtEtWI0_6Vsa5j3FWFqKisNuvAvFk5KSerkt4_vQn_PnpxC-grSH05nf8/s1600/pro+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilEs3PulLr_WEoGLpEZCc_1-CCufMaO2I8hDgNLJwECt5av32etAhb3As87Gtj6aWVIUe4DexqGx4yPvJ97DiDtEtWI0_6Vsa5j3FWFqKisNuvAvFk5KSerkt4_vQn_PnpxC-grSH05nf8/s640/pro+3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Con: The society will probably dissolve into a rabble of people who serve a tyrannical overlord in the fashion of Jabba the Hut </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0cvUt8EXE7PPAdina0OD96NehNnjnlb_pkq47R4rOX9gXRuoi9Qj3Qg4__zClgZFMx0ITBX5x59aBCPi7OihFE01l6QganVZkdeHM4wyOQJFe-UBke9qbUcMZnEaU7pZpKelC8cik4iAg/s1600/con+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0cvUt8EXE7PPAdina0OD96NehNnjnlb_pkq47R4rOX9gXRuoi9Qj3Qg4__zClgZFMx0ITBX5x59aBCPi7OihFE01l6QganVZkdeHM4wyOQJFe-UBke9qbUcMZnEaU7pZpKelC8cik4iAg/s640/con+3.jpg" width="528" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Pro: You can loot until your hearts content</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGS4XKWUdkFt0Ddwmk6_X1D7EfA3H1fKL4FObuSLxNn0JZTrr8s4XczvuHVmUFZ7mX70417gR_Lj2xN_t0GgQIl5Z0P3zbxmtmB6eD_gTmKOiiyipo5WS_wSbL94D4miXmcXyfFkR0s5sr/s1600/pro+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGS4XKWUdkFt0Ddwmk6_X1D7EfA3H1fKL4FObuSLxNn0JZTrr8s4XczvuHVmUFZ7mX70417gR_Lj2xN_t0GgQIl5Z0P3zbxmtmB6eD_gTmKOiiyipo5WS_wSbL94D4miXmcXyfFkR0s5sr/s640/pro+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Con: You may end up exchanging sexual favours for food. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhegtsmfcu23NZiaZEX8ZP1e2XxIefTEUtmJZg4o0Ar4Z0EAzMu78TnjHVDLsr4blA53MXRhGIPYAC_rULnhDFtiuUjIWoSpFAUB5mi4hif922A7YAoGZQxueIOsfzHgcO8OBThjk5NEO/s1600/con+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifhegtsmfcu23NZiaZEX8ZP1e2XxIefTEUtmJZg4o0Ar4Z0EAzMu78TnjHVDLsr4blA53MXRhGIPYAC_rULnhDFtiuUjIWoSpFAUB5mi4hif922A7YAoGZQxueIOsfzHgcO8OBThjk5NEO/s640/con+4.jpg" width="546" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Pro: Everybody who told you that preparing for zombie invasion was a waste of time is proved wrong.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCXVaamolCIkmxoHtf9sv1xHEN6-P92atsI9mkLVjUMHKVj49DrYxCguZfGXtK3ZUpNXqhKPPExvIGI8gQh62WvoFcramQ_r8A2xlEQwtaN7exuKGc5EX7Qz1HmktY6v2Q86qkQdbmiug/s1600/pro+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkCXVaamolCIkmxoHtf9sv1xHEN6-P92atsI9mkLVjUMHKVj49DrYxCguZfGXtK3ZUpNXqhKPPExvIGI8gQh62WvoFcramQ_r8A2xlEQwtaN7exuKGc5EX7Qz1HmktY6v2Q86qkQdbmiug/s640/pro+5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Con: These people are probably your close family and friends who have since died horrible horrible deaths. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW92AFMjF4BD5ZPcMWtTKQaYICHv9NNOYeUMFnxg9oBZGl1bjVC9FKvO-tIWpBgLWQJ7OUkuOJNujaE4NGCOYOj09MAWwGMcs-tCRgZx8VPgBl74iVYvZYzsMkYqgwlC_9nQLtHpFD5oh1/s1600/con+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW92AFMjF4BD5ZPcMWtTKQaYICHv9NNOYeUMFnxg9oBZGl1bjVC9FKvO-tIWpBgLWQJ7OUkuOJNujaE4NGCOYOj09MAWwGMcs-tCRgZx8VPgBl74iVYvZYzsMkYqgwlC_9nQLtHpFD5oh1/s640/con+5.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Pro: You're alive </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje-avOrozU1zLedscFLcWAAWFfe1NNKFz7MW3Gu1L6B49kv8gU492XYYQMVmxs-7ObsIPSILgogx_gh9zI2fnTFX3IyPOPbdpKkeAXFLyGOimkiuYde4xwxpxDIhFVSM777g6lFrIaC5Wn/s1600/pro+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje-avOrozU1zLedscFLcWAAWFfe1NNKFz7MW3Gu1L6B49kv8gU492XYYQMVmxs-7ObsIPSILgogx_gh9zI2fnTFX3IyPOPbdpKkeAXFLyGOimkiuYde4xwxpxDIhFVSM777g6lFrIaC5Wn/s640/pro+6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Con: You will live in a world exclusively populated by people who have zombie invasion plans. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLpK1RevBj1a4Cec58noVjrlUaRPFiYW_A6EzqnaRLipycOQuAzUhk0SNS9Qp5yhMTNrcI1pkQ9zB60mJ_YjlRSvK0aMo13cpyTP3C8Rot3hGGChvutzNzxLoOH9gg2jj0KmlRubhBGRtf/s1600/con+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLpK1RevBj1a4Cec58noVjrlUaRPFiYW_A6EzqnaRLipycOQuAzUhk0SNS9Qp5yhMTNrcI1pkQ9zB60mJ_YjlRSvK0aMo13cpyTP3C8Rot3hGGChvutzNzxLoOH9gg2jj0KmlRubhBGRtf/s640/con+6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
I hope you find this list useful when deciding whether to fight like the devil or lie down and put a paper bag over your head when the crucial moment arrives.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-26901003466585229322012-02-23T19:43:00.000+00:002012-02-24T01:57:40.749+00:00If you feel like commenting on this blog.....here's how!After many fruitless attempts to make this blog layout more user friendly, I have given up and instead will show you HOW to comment on these sorts of blogs. Blogger do not make it easy!<br />
<br />
1) Find a blog you want to comment on......<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7ou4yKLKwBBOm81kuLAgDlju2bn5dPCyD-DMNsDy0hhwy_rEmvfEL2WVmyLKzn1F4BuYFVzBuBp9LiwZJluWNUmS5hyphenhyphenrvQx6TN3SNFtxb9_J6-LBA9GpcrzaZuA4qVeOGrnHQcUcY30Z/s1600/comment+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="367" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7ou4yKLKwBBOm81kuLAgDlju2bn5dPCyD-DMNsDy0hhwy_rEmvfEL2WVmyLKzn1F4BuYFVzBuBp9LiwZJluWNUmS5hyphenhyphenrvQx6TN3SNFtxb9_J6-LBA9GpcrzaZuA4qVeOGrnHQcUcY30Z/s640/comment+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
2) Scroll down to this bit<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNY8ZTML6tvyrw5MmBrFqCZwS6e9gwSKZnaYYLw4FShlWYT0zz8iPO7Ob3S4b1h0wk8Yjr-xq5tnD5klyh5plstc8otN4PApjpU7BZueB8I3roSddlgjorrBCzk6rPMrdmoPt7Ki288hOW/s1600/comment+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNY8ZTML6tvyrw5MmBrFqCZwS6e9gwSKZnaYYLw4FShlWYT0zz8iPO7Ob3S4b1h0wk8Yjr-xq5tnD5klyh5plstc8otN4PApjpU7BZueB8I3roSddlgjorrBCzk6rPMrdmoPt7Ki288hOW/s1600/comment+2.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
3) Click where it says '0 Comments' :D<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIHLWqtYJ4AaIo3O1rb_hHkKyxpdrsMf9Fn6HCp72gsQMCV-6e-c6G9VI7fNVgO2-9dj5EqflPgTsaPiFkHJRGBATcjcTf1f_bCRk0EUgZKSx22ZuwwYrTFlfULj6oAZZQSx_5exwkF-7/s1600/comment+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIHLWqtYJ4AaIo3O1rb_hHkKyxpdrsMf9Fn6HCp72gsQMCV-6e-c6G9VI7fNVgO2-9dj5EqflPgTsaPiFkHJRGBATcjcTf1f_bCRk0EUgZKSx22ZuwwYrTFlfULj6oAZZQSx_5exwkF-7/s1600/comment+3.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
4) Eureka!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihZltcm2Z7LzIxL-0BcfM73Ev459xMNFu1xRKkF2mbExfuMKKe41ESMjN7ELWvGcrXSaRir2vGwlcM1983Hvf2G5hVPQK7VKIti1YU7xvodhsDd5FnetW3p-29Om5lrMst8phPc7wxkHfq/s1600/comment+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihZltcm2Z7LzIxL-0BcfM73Ev459xMNFu1xRKkF2mbExfuMKKe41ESMjN7ELWvGcrXSaRir2vGwlcM1983Hvf2G5hVPQK7VKIti1YU7xvodhsDd5FnetW3p-29Om5lrMst8phPc7wxkHfq/s640/comment+4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
If you feel like commenting, that would be awesome! If not, then there's a whole world of other things to be doing, I wouldn't blame you!!! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Love love</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-81030669023302720672012-02-21T20:39:00.000+00:002012-02-21T23:06:21.064+00:00Over EducationHuman beings have a natural academic limit, and I have definitely reached the end of mine. Three and a half years of university is more than enough and studying is no longer enjoyable or exciting. You know what sunlight looks like? Because I don't. I've transformed into one of those creatures from <i>the Descent.</i> All blind and pale and covered in mucus. The fact that I am no longer having fun is not the main issue I take with realising I've bitten off more than I can chew. There is a far more dangerous consequence to my decisions. <i> </i><br />
<br />
It is my belief that all people have a natural capacity for knowledge retention after which no more information can fit into their brain. What happens when new information is presented to the affected person? Something else, something important, gets pushed out.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMyVoJutaSdRQynKj0iOHxhUpApNqSG8n7S2EbBbVwmGA1kmvSewGaqm5SYjCGlO0Ge-hUgch0WGIgrEGt69wMZMKj84xPUi5OTdOieKRORzqc_xzoJchk5y27kByz_JELiKc8XwtjQn94/s1600/full+brain+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMyVoJutaSdRQynKj0iOHxhUpApNqSG8n7S2EbBbVwmGA1kmvSewGaqm5SYjCGlO0Ge-hUgch0WGIgrEGt69wMZMKj84xPUi5OTdOieKRORzqc_xzoJchk5y27kByz_JELiKc8XwtjQn94/s400/full+brain+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_w4GMG8lKk-FmIjRhir_pOmtd0BLjYVAmqHDQ8FMeSJMTRVfsi45Hur-40IzhsdyvI4-CNfeAchA8NsCioiiYVx-VsWlnHx7P-Io0XYTjenmrtjy7FujG0i5hyxHiaD3Iz8hSBMkxwUPp/s1600/full+brain+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_w4GMG8lKk-FmIjRhir_pOmtd0BLjYVAmqHDQ8FMeSJMTRVfsi45Hur-40IzhsdyvI4-CNfeAchA8NsCioiiYVx-VsWlnHx7P-Io0XYTjenmrtjy7FujG0i5hyxHiaD3Iz8hSBMkxwUPp/s400/full+brain+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-G2XgnHhu8e2Bnc_79_MQ9TRHskTsjnG3Vv2kLeB10JYCQsS0UJFCIDWQJLNxo4NDTSjDKB6AvwuI372KFLCxV3FTKIyZumyeq2IP3lDUWWuQqaGu85xUp6_Kp_fC_9eUKGDLbB5QqFS0/s1600/nomnom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-G2XgnHhu8e2Bnc_79_MQ9TRHskTsjnG3Vv2kLeB10JYCQsS0UJFCIDWQJLNxo4NDTSjDKB6AvwuI372KFLCxV3FTKIyZumyeq2IP3lDUWWuQqaGu85xUp6_Kp_fC_9eUKGDLbB5QqFS0/s400/nomnom.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigIHCE59MNTbXy2d41DsfGEXjldwvtzyB6whqlRsSdRkvl1ksjeS-EqmbmYgUgJxySeiYasNF-_OAzdr_Y1x_uJxkosxIRG48Vr8QjgyDw2nKLCULO4m2Fe9o3iT3nG83vCrgAfl8hFQ7t/s1600/rumble.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigIHCE59MNTbXy2d41DsfGEXjldwvtzyB6whqlRsSdRkvl1ksjeS-EqmbmYgUgJxySeiYasNF-_OAzdr_Y1x_uJxkosxIRG48Vr8QjgyDw2nKLCULO4m2Fe9o3iT3nG83vCrgAfl8hFQ7t/s400/rumble.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzzidH32W50yKG-J8hHPXbKpBZl7vX0NBuhe9trMcbqXuggdmdZyOKYWXx9dJrGm9ShrYvf1V8gINTYuULGHZTAZGZ9G7j-jOajmLwLljTh2UQYeDAaQ4dSHEcUFBLkt-w3-BjFTFK_0R9/s1600/thar+shhe+blows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzzidH32W50yKG-J8hHPXbKpBZl7vX0NBuhe9trMcbqXuggdmdZyOKYWXx9dJrGm9ShrYvf1V8gINTYuULGHZTAZGZ9G7j-jOajmLwLljTh2UQYeDAaQ4dSHEcUFBLkt-w3-BjFTFK_0R9/s400/thar+shhe+blows.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
At first it starts with the names of acquaintances, or Professors you don't see all that often. After that it moves onto general social skills and the ability to converse with people outside you particular area of expertise. Finally most of the basic functionality leaves your system, and your motor neuron ability begins to fail. In three short years you go from this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFgb0IJa1_63AtOlgeSYPmKlM2A6C7NosDomakZb0bSPM5Vt_0HhpnGzMrJfFZj5xMmnPNw_x2OLmcUfAS9OPv0qaJmtjn1qfcDnm9HypnW8RhL1XIjUrRaMlDot4VeeyCQyC90GJLQ5ST/s1600/before.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFgb0IJa1_63AtOlgeSYPmKlM2A6C7NosDomakZb0bSPM5Vt_0HhpnGzMrJfFZj5xMmnPNw_x2OLmcUfAS9OPv0qaJmtjn1qfcDnm9HypnW8RhL1XIjUrRaMlDot4VeeyCQyC90GJLQ5ST/s640/before.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
To this: </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKfjo3nK1IlKboOrARwBJWzIgNBzlnbrj51As7EAqLWEJYFNGaouiI4NlzxpRe4eDKECW_KA7s1SE_t9Zg64m36g8k1iySLiQPf0kwASoj6CSas73EjXGqLEILq5omkldF9f_IkEmzvbA1/s1600/after.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKfjo3nK1IlKboOrARwBJWzIgNBzlnbrj51As7EAqLWEJYFNGaouiI4NlzxpRe4eDKECW_KA7s1SE_t9Zg64m36g8k1iySLiQPf0kwASoj6CSas73EjXGqLEILq5omkldF9f_IkEmzvbA1/s640/after.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Most people would agree that this is the OPPOSITE of what you want from an advanced education, however it's incredibly easy to overdo it. Your brain just overloads. The sad thing is, that when I'm in a grown up job with taxes and two weeks holiday a year, I'll really miss this.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Until then though, Fuck You Uni Work. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-24152240893289391312012-02-19T13:52:00.002+00:002012-02-19T13:52:49.023+00:00The Ballad of Jack and EnnisThis a faithful recounting of the most beautiful love I have ever witnessed. And it's devastating effects upon my neighbourhood.<br />
<br />
In my second year of University, I lived in a two up two down student house that was built by the landlord, which all in all, didn't have a lot going for it:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCoeANP9y3nXw-IyuifDO0ulkKhlwxrwp22Petn3KCFo0tRI0Kyr-GuC6w6OHepx_eI4Q4qzeL_G9WCo7SxFpIAJsxkq9Kuzj08ToUdXXQ3Z9pCJKeOalPWEDJp1tZ1T1Ta9yuXHYFmxLf/s1600/shit+location.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCoeANP9y3nXw-IyuifDO0ulkKhlwxrwp22Petn3KCFo0tRI0Kyr-GuC6w6OHepx_eI4Q4qzeL_G9WCo7SxFpIAJsxkq9Kuzj08ToUdXXQ3Z9pCJKeOalPWEDJp1tZ1T1Ta9yuXHYFmxLf/s400/shit+location.jpg" width="388" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRmra1u1RDegLkJxcGukkQ1UhcG6vOOAvmmIjQfLOc3-yEH7_srpqMXr0dYMIlMY-UG3kw2liiG_w2jaeZyd9QNy2-yHyYkpnCftEP0EPlQuyQXSepUn6QuFaxjLvlX-lHYc_-C-R-zD-5/s1600/bathroom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRmra1u1RDegLkJxcGukkQ1UhcG6vOOAvmmIjQfLOc3-yEH7_srpqMXr0dYMIlMY-UG3kw2liiG_w2jaeZyd9QNy2-yHyYkpnCftEP0EPlQuyQXSepUn6QuFaxjLvlX-lHYc_-C-R-zD-5/s400/bathroom.jpg" width="350" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YLUWRiLNlvhXpcfOADCWW5nIAHtdk8s0LXwu4-5XqutghneOY3sOOTMEEImwKByAXg-gEQfOXL-Gz2VzJpym8xbDKA5rw_LbtB_isA3pu7FbL7b4xUlrcUNXC3jFQsVc_mtI8uVXW5AZ/s1600/death+alley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_YLUWRiLNlvhXpcfOADCWW5nIAHtdk8s0LXwu4-5XqutghneOY3sOOTMEEImwKByAXg-gEQfOXL-Gz2VzJpym8xbDKA5rw_LbtB_isA3pu7FbL7b4xUlrcUNXC3jFQsVc_mtI8uVXW5AZ/s400/death+alley.jpg" width="330" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
The main redeeming feature was a large garden with table and chairs, and in the Summer Term of my tenancy, the garden was frequented by two cats. They were never seen without each other, and there was a pained aura to their relationship which lead my house mates and I to believe they were living a secret. We decided they were gay and called them Jack and Ennis.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqRJhQXHLfm6pvr7sMckHD07lgt5rA8qTiQfpNCPWwDIfulJPKyy5-Npz0LiP3FWkdU8BEjEvNLSHzKDislPn9mUWyDTf6vshlOCeQU9qjKCsiUnuZ1qxR1o7apaK1XM3xtpbrH75ofh6i/s1600/brokeback+mountain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqRJhQXHLfm6pvr7sMckHD07lgt5rA8qTiQfpNCPWwDIfulJPKyy5-Npz0LiP3FWkdU8BEjEvNLSHzKDislPn9mUWyDTf6vshlOCeQU9qjKCsiUnuZ1qxR1o7apaK1XM3xtpbrH75ofh6i/s640/brokeback+mountain.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Many a day I'd see them cavorting round our garden, engaging in whatever activities gay cats who live in secret do. Hopping from fence to fence and wandering into our house whenever we left the back door open. It was cute.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7DqC7zJLNAYAqI7CkhqMOcEdINn4AkTJsE4KkbaKMwX-p4sjI07sgryVi5EOlsCN5lmen_VgG6LBxtFh1FytmIYhounC7B-MqqPniUE8Gewe3j6biHrcrIX-eAAQOfhyphenhyphenYwkQExm7B1r3A/s1600/cute+cats.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7DqC7zJLNAYAqI7CkhqMOcEdINn4AkTJsE4KkbaKMwX-p4sjI07sgryVi5EOlsCN5lmen_VgG6LBxtFh1FytmIYhounC7B-MqqPniUE8Gewe3j6biHrcrIX-eAAQOfhyphenhyphenYwkQExm7B1r3A/s640/cute+cats.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
However, one day the relationship took a dramatic turn. Jack went missing. And Ennis started to Meow.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-GgylLjBmlNyaiP3Qb8khvEpyqY1CskRiMPeDblkdwtqnlQAwSyH96FcSAg9zvtpA2Nkxsc3QqGHLyFSGw-xnA_OjlOZleLVm9HMNCEhsRX_6ytZLeMI8cBO03q6S02DhI0EuBueA0iIL/s1600/ennis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-GgylLjBmlNyaiP3Qb8khvEpyqY1CskRiMPeDblkdwtqnlQAwSyH96FcSAg9zvtpA2Nkxsc3QqGHLyFSGw-xnA_OjlOZleLVm9HMNCEhsRX_6ytZLeMI8cBO03q6S02DhI0EuBueA0iIL/s640/ennis.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
At first it was sweet, though tinged with sadness. Ennis would walk around our gardens and the gardens that backed on calling for Jack. Always calling. We all felt sorry for Ennis. He'd finally found love, only to have it cruelly ripped away by the hands of fate (we never DID find out what happened to Jack).<br />
<br />
After a couple of weeks though, our sympathy started to wane. It wasn't like the meowing was occasional, it was CONSTANT. On top of this, the Summer exams were coming up and we were all on edge. my bedroom backed onto the garden and the majority of Ennis' pained outbursts occurred right outside my window. People turned up at our door assuming that the cats were ours. This just compounded my resentment towards Ennis. All sympathy for his plight had completely evaporated and his constant noise was beginning to wear away my sanity.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2oGluon4mLv4k0mUWHEHKBZMLWI_oXbOdGIKszVfi8c0FiOlOyLrVImHtJ0SpOG2w7gUFxhB1ebkvFUKnDLflLZ9B_6Wk6VRMH7afJxhmj5ljy6YN-uoJx7bX1ynVghDr5a-NIuPUw9Lw/s1600/sanity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="401" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2oGluon4mLv4k0mUWHEHKBZMLWI_oXbOdGIKszVfi8c0FiOlOyLrVImHtJ0SpOG2w7gUFxhB1ebkvFUKnDLflLZ9B_6Wk6VRMH7afJxhmj5ljy6YN-uoJx7bX1ynVghDr5a-NIuPUw9Lw/s640/sanity.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The lowest point was nightime. Ennis would come into our garden (we presumed that was the spot were Jack evaporated). And meow outside my window. The cat had a vendetta against me. He probably thought I killed Jack and made him into stew. He woke me up, stopped me going to sleep, and acted as a handy alarm clock if you wanted to get up at 5:30 every morning. I had had a very stressful few months, and had been looking exceedingly forward to spending a couple of days relaxing before I went on a five week field trip to northern Scotland. Ennis wasn't having any of that though.<br />
<br />
Around this point, I started to plot against the cat. I won't go into the details of what I was planning, but it would not have been pleasant for Ennis. Fortunately for him though, cats are fast and I am slow, not none of my ideas ever came to fruition. Around this time as well, I heard one of my neighbours down the street yelling demented profanities at Ennis. He sounded like a broken man. It comforted me to know that I was not alone.<br />
<br />
<br />
Eventually one day I cracked. It was 7:30 in the morning, and I had been out the night before. Ennis decided that I needed to know more about his plight, and began to meow. I flipped. I opened my window and screamed like a banshee.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibpMX9IkXSYWT7Rg9ocRyPPX46zJNitwdvStikvyKwSzFjjdR7gkPg3CC5MVx_VjNDuADzC68RXw7gEKnpbCI8KSehqThSxZFWyaVoWpJ48QmR1e_90J6Y8E8sVz_4R0wZ0l_uY53M1fI_/s1600/i+kll+u.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibpMX9IkXSYWT7Rg9ocRyPPX46zJNitwdvStikvyKwSzFjjdR7gkPg3CC5MVx_VjNDuADzC68RXw7gEKnpbCI8KSehqThSxZFWyaVoWpJ48QmR1e_90J6Y8E8sVz_4R0wZ0l_uY53M1fI_/s640/i+kll+u.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I don't think I've ever lost control like that before or since. I ran out into the garden, but Ennis has the presence of mind to bolt before I could grab him. I sat on one of the garden chairs and thought I was going to cry. I had been out manoeuvred by a cat.<br />
<br />
Eventually Ennis stopped frequenting our garden and meowing outside my window, and the murderous rage inside me started to ebb.The sun came out and I got some sleep. We all began to heal.<br />
<br />
Next year I moved house and never saw Ennis again. I sometimes wonder what happened to him, but like so many individuals who have a brief but profound impact on you, he has sailed out my life forever. This is the only time in my life I had seen what I knew to be genuine true love; and it almost killed us all. I hope I never feel the way I felt for Ennis about anything again, but that remains to be seen. I live at the back of the house this year too, and there is a very conversational dog nearby.........<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcjpMSevD1s67v5JLdG1nQPL53mvjUo28YkH7E4k2L0EN14nD95TqwHUjAGmsGYVsDjT8cCsMSR5psEBwWq2nwRYHRAaERpwUEu8gpu2SwQJTitLO9uuM9ENKqwrxRwG0IhAcoHOksB1jw/s1600/hit+dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcjpMSevD1s67v5JLdG1nQPL53mvjUo28YkH7E4k2L0EN14nD95TqwHUjAGmsGYVsDjT8cCsMSR5psEBwWq2nwRYHRAaERpwUEu8gpu2SwQJTitLO9uuM9ENKqwrxRwG0IhAcoHOksB1jw/s400/hit+dog.jpg" width="395" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">HIT</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-89550053183199269762012-02-16T21:45:00.001+00:002012-02-17T20:12:58.082+00:00Adulthood. This is how I feel about it<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0VUmrJrZXzbyP0h4FCkUxcSprxX4ToLVlWWiUvY64hOQCqQ7pIP6TOeWsgbDKusPvQDJhCwD3HRJkkBghhms_fTIYhr0HHEe9iF30vIEjBDdxMpQIAEGaN6JLsVr689CEdZeJe0oyrblM/s1600/adulthood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0VUmrJrZXzbyP0h4FCkUxcSprxX4ToLVlWWiUvY64hOQCqQ7pIP6TOeWsgbDKusPvQDJhCwD3HRJkkBghhms_fTIYhr0HHEe9iF30vIEjBDdxMpQIAEGaN6JLsVr689CEdZeJe0oyrblM/s640/adulthood.jpg" width="576" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-60391634176261194832012-02-15T18:59:00.000+00:002012-02-17T20:13:33.031+00:00The Six Stages of Binge DrinkingThis is a post inspired by many of the Friday nights since I turned 16.<br />
<br />
As any of you who have passed this prestigious milestone will know, around this time awakens a strange and unfamiliar urge in many young people. The urge to go round to your friends houses, persuade their older siblings to go out and get you booze, and get as shitwrecked as is humanly possible.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiws6unuNI0z0AhK9y9dFs9P6oabP9wSKona8DjT3E2VxSE698BeWzxdIWeZ_pOAAcZomM2JdwokVUHaeA0qhGBxI_AZYUa7vytPMY3j_S59yJrt94-z2w06wqZVj6pvArOjG8zFFr3rzlV/s1600/skins+party.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="481" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiws6unuNI0z0AhK9y9dFs9P6oabP9wSKona8DjT3E2VxSE698BeWzxdIWeZ_pOAAcZomM2JdwokVUHaeA0qhGBxI_AZYUa7vytPMY3j_S59yJrt94-z2w06wqZVj6pvArOjG8zFFr3rzlV/s640/skins+party.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Eventually I turned 18 and the party moved into clubs, dark rooms with loud music where you think you can dance. But really you can't. These evenings invariably end up with me disgracing myself in one way or another, and waking up in a pile of broken memories and shame.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheEVi1Xe1DmNXLGX1BvjD5vE2lUveMe4CZdh8S8V4gRaMdv8JRLFWaT8FM-ZFGlnz495yqLW_JTA5hZ4tyRo5870hbD7WTxDw5BJs5W6H26jgsW-v7ate7Ns6uLK0F6RZ5-GMwYZgC5fQt/s1600/clubbing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheEVi1Xe1DmNXLGX1BvjD5vE2lUveMe4CZdh8S8V4gRaMdv8JRLFWaT8FM-ZFGlnz495yqLW_JTA5hZ4tyRo5870hbD7WTxDw5BJs5W6H26jgsW-v7ate7Ns6uLK0F6RZ5-GMwYZgC5fQt/s640/clubbing.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
You would have thought that I'd have learnt by now, but unfortunately not. However this un-goldy repeating pattern has allowed me to cast my scientific eye on it, and breakdown the process that leads to me making a twat of myself.<br />
<br />
There are several 'stages' and 'phases' involved. We will begin at the beginning.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Predrinking Phase: </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stage 1: Initial alcohol</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
This is a very insidious stage. You have gone round your friends to predrink. You pour out some liquid death and mixer, and throw it down the hatch. Nothing happens. Repeat. Before long you will be at stage 2. (See Below)<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjicPqgCi6AML4codMvwcSPhwT9bWkgQDCWBzBOfuTDDK-XYn0JO91Kt4ueawWAlIrVXJh9hL21GHIHITWzELgiJ11OYa6YqtqA88DZ0IYDj_UaSR5JIeWPUWGIpLRwiavQ6mYEUDM-myZs/s1600/wary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjicPqgCi6AML4codMvwcSPhwT9bWkgQDCWBzBOfuTDDK-XYn0JO91Kt4ueawWAlIrVXJh9hL21GHIHITWzELgiJ11OYa6YqtqA88DZ0IYDj_UaSR5JIeWPUWGIpLRwiavQ6mYEUDM-myZs/s400/wary.jpg" width="345" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4a4NkM75OU6ntucqUocXMosfoZ37DIwkm-P8osqUWm0U1pGKoIwzEEWqcT69AmbBZPOMIN8snG6P9kuyUtl-WoJpi-9QgxHzDitXRIZ5SIVKOkcw111HgUWqNVKJHb21c-rUFVcacm9Y3/s1600/glug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4a4NkM75OU6ntucqUocXMosfoZ37DIwkm-P8osqUWm0U1pGKoIwzEEWqcT69AmbBZPOMIN8snG6P9kuyUtl-WoJpi-9QgxHzDitXRIZ5SIVKOkcw111HgUWqNVKJHb21c-rUFVcacm9Y3/s400/glug.jpg" width="182" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stage 2: Bullshit </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
In an IDEAL world, you would stay at this stage of drunk all night. You can no longer taste the alcohol, and instead are making very good lifelong friends with whoever is within earshot of you. The title of this stage comes from the subject matter of which you are discussing. Bullshit. Mountains of it. However you're so drunk that not only is what your saying making sense to YOU, it also seems to be having a positive impact your new friends. You're having some of the most profound conversations of your life. Your discussions have all the philosophical pannaz of a Morgan Freeman narration, and a wit that rivals that of Oscar Wilde. To YOU, your conversations feel like this:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJN-0kvIS0M5dXlGz96hOihtbSkTCR_XXuBsxdIo_TZQW1dzRdq1AYtRk2Tw69t3KFbHE8jTLve87EnfH9OeKrUDAy2_bWnxVbIRbXUo_yf5Z2U39xnjeXspTcQOa_BTcc-lRMZT7Ddps4/s1600/gideon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJN-0kvIS0M5dXlGz96hOihtbSkTCR_XXuBsxdIo_TZQW1dzRdq1AYtRk2Tw69t3KFbHE8jTLve87EnfH9OeKrUDAy2_bWnxVbIRbXUo_yf5Z2U39xnjeXspTcQOa_BTcc-lRMZT7Ddps4/s640/gideon.jpg" width="512" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
Other people may view it differently:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgyK6eIIibw_VhZDvBfDY26X0iJcUf2c850C2_-5rNwxGibWY0F1aXE7LQ6Srl-ZYO5jtMh-TwUmLyMhmszx7lsrr8m3_f_AOL7i3sEROu5fS9QRxi8zAp3oDrIUFl9XN-fKngk97yKe2S/s1600/pacman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgyK6eIIibw_VhZDvBfDY26X0iJcUf2c850C2_-5rNwxGibWY0F1aXE7LQ6Srl-ZYO5jtMh-TwUmLyMhmszx7lsrr8m3_f_AOL7i3sEROu5fS9QRxi8zAp3oDrIUFl9XN-fKngk97yKe2S/s640/pacman.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
After a couple of hours of this, it's off to the Club of choice to let the REAL bad decisions commence.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Clubbing Phase </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stage 3: The Lethal Phase </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
***WARNING*** AT ALL COSTS AVOID THIS STAGE ***WARNING***<br />
<br />
Even though you put down your last drink 15 minutes ago, you want more, you NEED more, you can totally handle more. Off you trot to the bar to buy some booze.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir-_y3-ThFGt-dbHW7YPs6p9vGtzYae2BWc93CsM59erLGKFIeyCuu6kspjmgQKcao0nVKOwxsjWdcvldK7_LNnlFaYkUPfNnnepNf4YPqFdFfUBaKKU3kQeAWEpNT5z-0-Zj2A82JIXZ6/s1600/shots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir-_y3-ThFGt-dbHW7YPs6p9vGtzYae2BWc93CsM59erLGKFIeyCuu6kspjmgQKcao0nVKOwxsjWdcvldK7_LNnlFaYkUPfNnnepNf4YPqFdFfUBaKKU3kQeAWEpNT5z-0-Zj2A82JIXZ6/s640/shots.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3f9prj9l9IxcCVfgCQ8-bay6R4ickjF4GrkC8A5SErsZsVSQwVw_hxb7zKOncaIHceKaxV5dBZZqdlIZwJ_omONGYKfHtJnp1PEuq3dota6b8BJeeBdI62sw46upHPDiaLjqfb_P-bygH/s1600/shots+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3f9prj9l9IxcCVfgCQ8-bay6R4ickjF4GrkC8A5SErsZsVSQwVw_hxb7zKOncaIHceKaxV5dBZZqdlIZwJ_omONGYKfHtJnp1PEuq3dota6b8BJeeBdI62sw46upHPDiaLjqfb_P-bygH/s640/shots+2.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvPUmskbOsVPhEWkwOPQ42p7fRsjSW3oL84lLw7eRQVnFs9JNyCtLd8s1MYy8YVD7zQMZGvFRWT6mG6XbNYh_Tt5E6vOGMs4XvKj8mRFuJfpH3KmrEMoMxEWBG7ZS77M3HR8yFZYyRH4rr/s1600/shots+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvPUmskbOsVPhEWkwOPQ42p7fRsjSW3oL84lLw7eRQVnFs9JNyCtLd8s1MYy8YVD7zQMZGvFRWT6mG6XbNYh_Tt5E6vOGMs4XvKj8mRFuJfpH3KmrEMoMxEWBG7ZS77M3HR8yFZYyRH4rr/s640/shots+3.jpg" width="436" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
The full impact of this decision won't be felt for a couple of hours yet, so in the meantime, it's off to watch your primal instincts go into overdrive. <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stage 4: The extreme emotion Phase </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
At this point in our journey, your brain hits a road. Three pathways wind in front of it, each with it's own strange and marvellous outcomes. These pathways direct you into becoming a rampaging pinnacle of a singular emotion. For more information, see stages 4a-c.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4a: Sexy You </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
Dear GOD you're attractive. The fates were certainly smiling the day YOUR features were arranged you dapper son-of-a-bitch. And what's this? EVERYONE in the surrounding area is attractive too! Have you stumbled into heaven? Have you gone mad? How did you not notice that you were a God among Addonises until this moment?!? Quickly! Somebody needs to know! You spot someone. Sweet Jesus they're beautiful. You can lure him in with your Beyonce-esque dancing skills and sexy sexy eyes. Oh God they're coming over! Your not fussed. Your as cool as a cumber. In a fridge. With mad dancing skills like you've got, where else would they go? Your not going to beat around the bush. Who's got the time? Your Just going to tell it like it is. <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSL4VxrQik9DRhJsBDs69_vHAvxvLhwSRpp6FgSpCaHO3sQa1kjkxM9WmskSOSF3-5uR6jk7f1dl1MsuKtT_tGL0vLIiQ9J09MGAHY2yoK-XMQnpi1vlPZataEia520YaBZNvFgfGNWo3-/s1600/sexy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="538" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSL4VxrQik9DRhJsBDs69_vHAvxvLhwSRpp6FgSpCaHO3sQa1kjkxM9WmskSOSF3-5uR6jk7f1dl1MsuKtT_tGL0vLIiQ9J09MGAHY2yoK-XMQnpi1vlPZataEia520YaBZNvFgfGNWo3-/s640/sexy.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4b: Angry You </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
A number of things can induce this stage. Maybe the drinks offer you thought was on, wasn't on. Maybe your mate got kicked out because he was drunk and pissing against the D.J. Maybe the taxi cost £1.50 more than you were expecting and you had to go to the cash point. Granted, all of these things are annoying, however when you this drunk, they're not just annoying. You feel like the Incredible Hulk must feel while wading through a Nazi-Paedophile convention. An unholy injustice has been dealt and the only way to combat it is to yell loud personal insults repeatedly.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXR2kr0ccxn9RdCf5V03vBBFXzRNOaWZmUo0zfnU9jUCCfnf9k9jj-PlRpeNZXSbF1Uvvu-1YFhL2AnAoilJQK6YHYgAV4Dg8KSPNdNRN5ohaRDjqswL3i5JMv2n_OW9U7v-pNebXqXlfq/s1600/angry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="544" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXR2kr0ccxn9RdCf5V03vBBFXzRNOaWZmUo0zfnU9jUCCfnf9k9jj-PlRpeNZXSbF1Uvvu-1YFhL2AnAoilJQK6YHYgAV4Dg8KSPNdNRN5ohaRDjqswL3i5JMv2n_OW9U7v-pNebXqXlfq/s640/angry.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">4c: Sad You </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
This is an ethereal stage. It cannot be pinned down by any description or diagram, and it's causes are one of the seven wonders of the modern world. I can only humbly recreate the stages of events. Using Microsoft Paint.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqgqqPvw394rMUFobRrzlGdD4lfhpzFVxRqL-dTfOn6PsmMR8UyH5P4C6mXCspIY03m4PaCIOOb29FEJLrpRwkfhL_yCrgxs9gNp1rJtT4vSKRgFjvrK9uVp2Ghk97W0f-Ppylsd-iYq6/s1600/sad+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqgqqPvw394rMUFobRrzlGdD4lfhpzFVxRqL-dTfOn6PsmMR8UyH5P4C6mXCspIY03m4PaCIOOb29FEJLrpRwkfhL_yCrgxs9gNp1rJtT4vSKRgFjvrK9uVp2Ghk97W0f-Ppylsd-iYq6/s640/sad+1.jpg" width="528" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk_xIxiFFrQRN32s81LjdgJrvdHFwylb2hNfaW2KphyphenhyphenJRuSdQNdCCvqLuBK391WrxNtZUojSmktIIvVISnJdg3Isbw7ix_C290GioACv0HfDr6ZlT5xTlBhSxoox-jBv3B9ywookmQbRss/s1600/sad+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk_xIxiFFrQRN32s81LjdgJrvdHFwylb2hNfaW2KphyphenhyphenJRuSdQNdCCvqLuBK391WrxNtZUojSmktIIvVISnJdg3Isbw7ix_C290GioACv0HfDr6ZlT5xTlBhSxoox-jBv3B9ywookmQbRss/s640/sad+2.jpg" width="452" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz7TKR4haPInUb4W26ABUdTjrr4T7GHGzDQMeXkGe1c2FR1o1OOaToaw2OWpqH_ZAC3dl-YwZ433exBd1EczRdsZL6rjezcw87ldP4ipOTkp3wg4Id8WyQpG2EAPvqK80ar_-5cgBKHwgC/s1600/sad+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz7TKR4haPInUb4W26ABUdTjrr4T7GHGzDQMeXkGe1c2FR1o1OOaToaw2OWpqH_ZAC3dl-YwZ433exBd1EczRdsZL6rjezcw87ldP4ipOTkp3wg4Id8WyQpG2EAPvqK80ar_-5cgBKHwgC/s640/sad+3.jpg" width="604" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stage 5: The Reality Apocalypse</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
Remember all those drinks you ordered earlier? Me neither. Which is why this stage is so horribly confusing and upsetting. The shots that you consumed hours previously, the ones that have the power to take down a stallion have finally caught up with you. You go from this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGyOH1XB8fc7JpWxlqC2DZGmqEhSBr1PMBxp9b_JPnHeD8bHSiYy0WAS1ycVvblaPkgPh7ATGp2W5fKgkP0XmcfNsAvckoULjFHx53rRgyQ_AUCgGTf5lGJbOS45HW5QVbEh4MBhWf6r_8/s1600/apoco+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGyOH1XB8fc7JpWxlqC2DZGmqEhSBr1PMBxp9b_JPnHeD8bHSiYy0WAS1ycVvblaPkgPh7ATGp2W5fKgkP0XmcfNsAvckoULjFHx53rRgyQ_AUCgGTf5lGJbOS45HW5QVbEh4MBhWf6r_8/s640/apoco+1.jpg" width="520" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
To feeling like you've been shoved in a washing machine and kicked down the stairs. Up becomes a strange concept and gravity is on the run.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwhujSpMfaFgJjFNm5Oopm_m4c6oLW5lTE1EQ19Lc7PLVj4KSuHhq_vvMPfw7EDixahtC7rq0uT203qxHfpL6dV69G4BLYoA1QUrOOIgwfGYyXllI1aUGpMx9U3_x1M2dP-RvhMyyg-MrE/s1600/apoco+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwhujSpMfaFgJjFNm5Oopm_m4c6oLW5lTE1EQ19Lc7PLVj4KSuHhq_vvMPfw7EDixahtC7rq0uT203qxHfpL6dV69G4BLYoA1QUrOOIgwfGYyXllI1aUGpMx9U3_x1M2dP-RvhMyyg-MrE/s640/apoco+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It's like being on the least fun roller-coaster ever and YOU CAN'T GET OFF. Your only hope is to cling perilously to something and pray that the world rights itself sufficiently for you to get the fuck out of there.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh349Ig1tB_nH9P0cd-qzbH3usYmD1DeuGYQljZA9PSWpVS_gkQpBvvzMCEny_X_Qp5AEa3sVRRl2Qi9Eds3YMTnK10V8owTJSyRwvU_mmwgsmMK-QoO8uS56qvJ6ER05XngWFLG3gOsuCx/s1600/flooe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="616" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh349Ig1tB_nH9P0cd-qzbH3usYmD1DeuGYQljZA9PSWpVS_gkQpBvvzMCEny_X_Qp5AEa3sVRRl2Qi9Eds3YMTnK10V8owTJSyRwvU_mmwgsmMK-QoO8uS56qvJ6ER05XngWFLG3gOsuCx/s640/flooe.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stage 6: Gorging </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
Once 3:30 am rolls around and if you managed to avoid stage 3, and by extension, stage 5, the lights will come on and you'll belt out Robbie Williams 'Angels' while clinging to a bunch of people you may or may not know. After this it's time to stagger out the doors and find a taxi. But an important stop must be made along the way:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZB41WB_z4MjFoGAbm0Yvvcrc-Wcgw_yZ8sNoW_2rXo2wNereM0D4cmLzILedoEw0JduaPN5i3hE-tgbESZHQsPTAHqch9MC8GvsgJfumAEBy_972lu_1tp8zMbLCH6tmeIj40UCI3O7r/s1600/lard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijZB41WB_z4MjFoGAbm0Yvvcrc-Wcgw_yZ8sNoW_2rXo2wNereM0D4cmLzILedoEw0JduaPN5i3hE-tgbESZHQsPTAHqch9MC8GvsgJfumAEBy_972lu_1tp8zMbLCH6tmeIj40UCI3O7r/s640/lard.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I've never been able to fathom WHY indeterminant meat and fat congealed in a Styrofoam case with enough salt to give a walrus a stroke is so appealing at 4:00am. All I know its that it is. You would step on a puppy with cancer for a kebab at 4:00am.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR3bsSkk-kuHUeJhb-TbXYBVQ86umKvJMGN0buXLSftZPHCxdqE1dSSBkcyckVSv7ahQ3fnWOtHAuBGy3IhZojkBqXrWI3tIAS_Rafm0xNr5687OlFSE8R1CFKK06wh0hPwWqI9W0r6OOy/s1600/kebab+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR3bsSkk-kuHUeJhb-TbXYBVQ86umKvJMGN0buXLSftZPHCxdqE1dSSBkcyckVSv7ahQ3fnWOtHAuBGy3IhZojkBqXrWI3tIAS_Rafm0xNr5687OlFSE8R1CFKK06wh0hPwWqI9W0r6OOy/s640/kebab+2.jpg" width="542" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">That'll Do Pig </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Stage 7: Pass Out </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWNCN7swLrCCskE9G4RgLv5D7KUUrRo_EyFeHHUYKe4OrsfbhnOTAJp_JdDRTGbJDVlkz3Ys8dLvVCNOlizqq6VN782M8CRLTdAfv8sPcyHD89bBLfaociJttn6KLXbzoQb30zjifuEpjn/s1600/pass+out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWNCN7swLrCCskE9G4RgLv5D7KUUrRo_EyFeHHUYKe4OrsfbhnOTAJp_JdDRTGbJDVlkz3Ys8dLvVCNOlizqq6VN782M8CRLTdAfv8sPcyHD89bBLfaociJttn6KLXbzoQb30zjifuEpjn/s640/pass+out.jpg" width="624" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> The END</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-87302577325755946362012-01-27T17:37:00.000+00:002012-02-17T20:12:35.927+00:00Kurt From Glee's Knitwear Choices<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
Due largely to the influence of a person who looks like this:
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/221633_10150170818741688_550901687_7228024_5596196_n.jpg" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I have become addicted to knitwear that befits the elderly. To this end I have purchased and collected a variety of 'bold' knitted jumpers. I'm wearing one right now. This transition has made me very knit 'aware' and I now tend to notice other people who have a colourful choice in knitwear. I feel I have an affinity with them. In the case I describe below though, I truly do not.<br />
<br />
For those of you who don't watch the hit T.V. show 'Glee!' it is a programme about a bunch of sexually repressed quazi-adults who are in real life about 28 years old. This makes it sound like the O.C. or One Tree Hill, but the reality is different for three reasons<br />
<br />
1) They all sing and sometimes dance<br />
<br />
2) They take the piss out of themselves and each other.<br />
<br />
3) Jane Lynch makes EVERYTHING good<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivDaOoUpwyhFEfCUV-TR96ya_cbxMTujOV434ehBdP-7k9qo-25joOmwfpfjPFNz-1i17ZtKtEgvCj8r4Uv5fApFbqIm1QLJrsDxpkISWSV12npx50a6MQvxV93gTN9qSwhEFy2jebW9EF/s1600/improved+television.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivDaOoUpwyhFEfCUV-TR96ya_cbxMTujOV434ehBdP-7k9qo-25joOmwfpfjPFNz-1i17ZtKtEgvCj8r4Uv5fApFbqIm1QLJrsDxpkISWSV12npx50a6MQvxV93gTN9qSwhEFy2jebW9EF/s400/improved+television.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
In this show there is a character called Kurt. He looks like this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/news/091123/chris-colfer-320.jpg&sa=X&ei=iLYiT7amEYHL0QXRpJzOCg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNHgmiJ4x3aSgfqCcNcXn4KP14e5vg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/news/091123/chris-colfer-320.jpg&sa=X&ei=iLYiT7amEYHL0QXRpJzOCg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNHgmiJ4x3aSgfqCcNcXn4KP14e5vg" /></a></div>
<br />
and in another life I feel that him and I could have been knitwear soulmates. Sadly, he took it too far.<br />
<br />
<br />
Below is a selection of images that I found in an attempt to document how fucking ridiculous what this boy wears is. The full impacted can only truly be acheived by watching all of the shows with his over arching story lines and bizarre lady-voice, but in the interests of time management, I will summarise as much as can:<br />
<br />
<br />
Bold zip-across-front sleeveless man-cowl<br />
<br />
<img height="320" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://lkcstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/GLEE_Season2Episode8_KurtStripedShirt.jpg&sa=X&ei=4bgiT971Iamp0QWmsoXOCg&ved=0CAwQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGozDAh3xAEnfZn-zjmMxb9195yUA" width="265" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Bedouin city dweller (add leather braids for additional fierceness)<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://heydontjudgeme.com/wp-content/uploads/tumblr_luqh6t1nJ51qbi6aao1_250.png&sa=X&ei=0rkiT7ftKIrW0QXj6b3OCg&ved=0CAsQ8wc4Dw&usg=AFQjCNEHCnkx16raUhgW3EpnhUW6yjLFBg" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Women look good on everything<br />
<br />
<img height="320" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://www.globalcool.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Chris-Colfer-jumper.jpg&sa=X&ei=FLwiT-32NOGm0QWj2qDOCg&ved=0CAsQ8wc4Dw&usg=AFQjCNEudKUExZ-iBMEldlTkdQwvIiFDtg" width="278" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Pale hand print covering imaginary boobs. For those days when you feel like dressing like a slapper from the early 90's.<br />
<br />
<img height="320" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://lkcstyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/GLEE_Season2Episode4_Kurt2.jpg&sa=X&ei=MLkiT9C7IqHH0QXcitHNCg&ved=0CAwQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNF_9I5PyExCM7HVn82UOSzC1Rwvgw" width="250" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Turtle necks add drama to any situation<br />
<br />
<img height="180" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://images.wikia.com/glee/images/8/88/Finn-Kurt-in-I-Kissed-A-Girl-cory-monteith-and-chris-colfer-27538198-1280-720.jpg&sa=X&ei=d7kiT8_oGaGx0AWz89zOCg&ved=0CAwQ8wc4Eg&usg=AFQjCNHlLng1IQUOYxxhMk8dty0Cq5HqGw" width="320" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
W.T.F.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2011/12/28/GLEE-KURT_320.jpg&sa=X&ei=urgiT8GEHoSi0QWR5bjOCg&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGk33VnoOX_he_hEL20OFhyNxiP8A" />
<br />
<br />
This is only a passing glimpse at the full horror and majesty of this boy's knitwear collection. Beholding it in it's entirety would be like looking directly at the Sun; terrifying and beautiful, but ultimately you'll go blind.<br />
<br />
But it is always imperative to remember that although I may not agree with the fashion choices Kurt makes, it is obviously having a positive impact on his life. The photo below proves it!!!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzxRgHrhyWyBQaYmGwrRvKOVE3XuVnCP3tLawrca4Qd_9VG4Y8BHiKkXq6MWJ1FApuj5u1n8HXODODmv3azV7E1gT8sHXbeMXy-mrFPMUdIE0kspIClQFCSwVt-8mTtJzZVljzTvb9ZMKj/s1600/love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzxRgHrhyWyBQaYmGwrRvKOVE3XuVnCP3tLawrca4Qd_9VG4Y8BHiKkXq6MWJ1FApuj5u1n8HXODODmv3azV7E1gT8sHXbeMXy-mrFPMUdIE0kspIClQFCSwVt-8mTtJzZVljzTvb9ZMKj/s640/love.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Huzzar for hideous clothes?????<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6984727222540043204.post-21400998601621885662012-01-15T14:56:00.000+00:002012-02-17T20:11:42.804+00:00What kind of person Google thinks I amLike the government, Chinese Industries and the charming Russian gentleman who controls the natural gas supply, Google is a power that I am vaguely wary of yet completely reliant on for a large part of my daily functionality. I suckle at the proverbial teat of Google morning noon and night, researching all topics under the sun from the higher concepts in physics to Courtney Stodden's freakish marriage. At some points I am painfully aware of this dependence but there is just no way around it.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEDuJNp4u1Uni-mTIvAv-j33lRmu3ytOLpixKHQjBzqBlOvENqktaWOmOXLr9ikonf4WIXY9DhIR3YhJIwr8OoqklqWw1PeUZyEvJPslE12oLhpAeYINhtfK1MEnZ8NqvrB7MN6SBvm9MH/s1600/google+world.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEDuJNp4u1Uni-mTIvAv-j33lRmu3ytOLpixKHQjBzqBlOvENqktaWOmOXLr9ikonf4WIXY9DhIR3YhJIwr8OoqklqWw1PeUZyEvJPslE12oLhpAeYINhtfK1MEnZ8NqvrB7MN6SBvm9MH/s320/google+world.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Now to the main issue at hand.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I'm 98% sure that somewhere in the Californian bowels of the Google megastructure lurks a programme that logs each individual's Google searches and compiles them into some sort of 'profile'. I doesn't matter if your using your computer, a friends, or rubbing elbows with the pay-per-hour perverts in a public café. They will always know it's you.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj52CHgtC7cHIqnYfIjl1Tf5RwdTdvO2t5pxnmvy_YdXKgJBrKdX812BHsGRrGCWxaZ2-bOaYSLP5BTSC7bkK1np9R0CLs22E_l5bS5JkxIIm4eeat1z57NyHmB7nFvg2aO2bn1EgZCJZsn/s1600/headquarters.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj52CHgtC7cHIqnYfIjl1Tf5RwdTdvO2t5pxnmvy_YdXKgJBrKdX812BHsGRrGCWxaZ2-bOaYSLP5BTSC7bkK1np9R0CLs22E_l5bS5JkxIIm4eeat1z57NyHmB7nFvg2aO2bn1EgZCJZsn/s320/headquarters.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Because of this notion, occasionally during my frenetic unending quest for largely useless knowledge I become increasingly uneasy about the kind of searches I am making and how they reflect upon me personally. Normally this isn't a problem, the majority of my browsing consists of Facebook, Youtube, News websites and until very recently checking <a href="http://www.isbabyoncebornyet.com/" target="_blank">THIS</a> page every 13.5 seconds. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
However during moments of deep procrastination and boredom my mind has a tendency to wander to darker places and if Google IS keeping files on us all, then I am in deep shit. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I don't INTEND to end up probing into these unnatural topics, it just seemed to happen. However recently I have been monitoring my own behaviour and I think I have pinpointed the series of events that leads to these shameful acts being committed. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The process goes a little something like this: </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I begin a session of work, hyper motivated and super pumped about the challenge assigned to me. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVBNEJLTzb-Iqp93xHZzWJqhno7yxVCMO0A0s4T2QtmI7JVfNHDjBKf2rLyDAMExHawp5wdn8UfxPEKYtac8Gj1Ze8DXAmEptcOEXQe6En4Xa-mac-FKUTZ71DAVotGyO2xkHX4uOsU_VA/s1600/do+it+I+must.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVBNEJLTzb-Iqp93xHZzWJqhno7yxVCMO0A0s4T2QtmI7JVfNHDjBKf2rLyDAMExHawp5wdn8UfxPEKYtac8Gj1Ze8DXAmEptcOEXQe6En4Xa-mac-FKUTZ71DAVotGyO2xkHX4uOsU_VA/s400/do+it+I+must.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpNsVa-36KLr_ConzFBb9_PXxXGgRov3QZDtrJheDyrXYhIcOEsAQOvaI4t7fILBP_dn6zzr-fUr74Z5lbdrCPnP6SyDrLKsNAe1yk68N566NY6Gx4Glw5L0KwU3UbrbD9WyPhRp7uCpI/s1600/work+I+must+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVpNsVa-36KLr_ConzFBb9_PXxXGgRov3QZDtrJheDyrXYhIcOEsAQOvaI4t7fILBP_dn6zzr-fUr74Z5lbdrCPnP6SyDrLKsNAe1yk68N566NY6Gx4Glw5L0KwU3UbrbD9WyPhRp7uCpI/s400/work+I+must+2.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
This feeling doesn't last long; and then my mind begins to wonder. (In this instance to Family Guy, as I have a 14 year old boys sense of humour)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI-YLU_BpCMbdfuR1vC9yLT2x6TASVHmrIAImkTPPwPr1nBpJOmGnTprYxL1krpERk1U6B-eUMR3YgCbR7g-89h3fdHx_xsOHLTkrbjg1fgVjkm27GlBTU_Ieo_3ZuKGnzpidWD1sJi2OP/s1600/prostitute.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="348" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI-YLU_BpCMbdfuR1vC9yLT2x6TASVHmrIAImkTPPwPr1nBpJOmGnTprYxL1krpERk1U6B-eUMR3YgCbR7g-89h3fdHx_xsOHLTkrbjg1fgVjkm27GlBTU_Ieo_3ZuKGnzpidWD1sJi2OP/s400/prostitute.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This begins to irritate me. It irritates me to the point that I can no longer do any more work until I know WHAT that term means. I know I won't like the answer, and I know I'll bitterly regret Googling it, but I do it anyway. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8VKcgy6DrUvZcnVLzvPSGnP0Q2mWcs5eifFrRjgu__8tOLj5cYoddFNlnwC4EZXSk-fqHV0C9ti9C8qGGNpSgfGEALchK1zzMDJ3ki5yT7gXGPK8CGpr1oCdz5vjeZBCGl883yO3VAshx/s1600/steamer.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="331" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8VKcgy6DrUvZcnVLzvPSGnP0Q2mWcs5eifFrRjgu__8tOLj5cYoddFNlnwC4EZXSk-fqHV0C9ti9C8qGGNpSgfGEALchK1zzMDJ3ki5yT7gXGPK8CGpr1oCdz5vjeZBCGl883yO3VAshx/s400/steamer.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9yuWf0AZLbXLS49oI8Zu-KbplfeJ5VkB9HYU-0dmhqi7NCZrmOzHwE6aCf509yOpx5u4jECgiC2Kk2yxD2DBD1Y_HDQwXYjpp0-PQx3ij4WrJzSEh1ijsm0JDxZxDhcJD1sns6LHMjVfl/s1600/search.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9yuWf0AZLbXLS49oI8Zu-KbplfeJ5VkB9HYU-0dmhqi7NCZrmOzHwE6aCf509yOpx5u4jECgiC2Kk2yxD2DBD1Y_HDQwXYjpp0-PQx3ij4WrJzSEh1ijsm0JDxZxDhcJD1sns6LHMjVfl/s400/search.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNc7YuHVMTE2-XFnlDq0xsStVeDa-TxWE3lhclzsTchlzVRk7G3EgufJZ6FT-kIqfWWeR_h8wRhz3B67naAwzmpgfrO3FL4NrOXhrYnyCBfbuwXXCpNre5CuMZDwZmDciqqIszbf5jWkes/s1600/horror.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNc7YuHVMTE2-XFnlDq0xsStVeDa-TxWE3lhclzsTchlzVRk7G3EgufJZ6FT-kIqfWWeR_h8wRhz3B67naAwzmpgfrO3FL4NrOXhrYnyCBfbuwXXCpNre5CuMZDwZmDciqqIszbf5jWkes/s400/horror.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
This process can be repeated up to ten times during busy work days. It not only limited to depraved sexual acts either. It can be anything from finding out if you can order explosives online to learning more about something I saw on Bodyshock that I didn't believe was physically possible. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
In real life, I am quite nice and unassuming, and you would not expect this kind of behaviour from me. However, in the eyes of Google, I probably look a little like this: </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkfwPJcrMnnNk9XZZrbBQDddOXJSogAULLrNnWStjqFPO5yO0-mgB8-zH7goMB60W0hv-CZ9OfuyEhGQCuOCazgVr6iHuDQGO0b_CM5oxfHVIY_cSjTLDUpLOb9-QlK5bCVNnQSD5r6615/s1600/work+I+must.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="370" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkfwPJcrMnnNk9XZZrbBQDddOXJSogAULLrNnWStjqFPO5yO0-mgB8-zH7goMB60W0hv-CZ9OfuyEhGQCuOCazgVr6iHuDQGO0b_CM5oxfHVIY_cSjTLDUpLOb9-QlK5bCVNnQSD5r6615/s400/work+I+must.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
No. No this is not normal in the slightest. It is an abomination. Thank you Google. Thank you for making me this. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Don't ever leave me.....<3</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(P.S. The irony of posting a blog about Google dependence on a Google hosted website is in no way lost on me )</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0